Morning Reflection

Methinks we give Her cause for chortle …
A bit of a grin and a snicker, or a few.
Opening Her eyes with the dawn of a day, new to us.
But only another breath and of no particular significance to Her.

She smiles in patient acknowledgment of our supposed need to worry.
Is not her timeless humour engaged as She sees our angst?
Are we not silly children to believe that our flailings matter?
Can we not see, as She does, how fleeting are our concerns?

Earth stretches herself in boundless expanse, Her end … nowhere.
We fret over the scope of what we see before us.
She giggles the laughter of countless voices in Her infinite continuum.
Whilst we battle to create monuments to our meaningless impulse.

All that is Her expression adjusts and compensates,
realigning Her assets and resources, to sustain our newest affronts.
Whilst Her children greet Her with their songs and their awakenings.
She accepts our foolish indifferences and insults.

Ah, but what bliss would be ours
if we would but see Her in all of Her glory.
If we would only allow ourselves the joy of pause,
acknowledging Her constancy and power …
in humble gratitude.

IMAGES through the gracious courtesy of Ian Britton, FreeFoto.com

Rum-Raisin Ice Cream

It was in May of 2008 when I last shared, this bit of perspective, with those who honor me with their attention. Since then, I am blessed with new Friends, and Readers, who have not read it. So, with apologies to those for whom this is a 'repeat,' Here is something that I still have strong feelings about.


I do not like Rum-Raisin Ice-cream.

There, I’ve said it.

There is nothing more to say on the matter (yet you and I know that there will, most assuredly, be more said.)

You see, Dear Friend, I do not begrudge anyone else their preference for Rum-Raisin Ice-cream. I hold no grudge against that flavor. There resides no bitterness in my soul toward the combination of elements that constitute that particular blend. I would never counsel anyone to disallow themselves the opportunity to sample that product nor would I undertake to undermine that dessert’s place in the universe of food products.

It is, quite simply, a fact that my own, personal, individual, particularly unique taste buds do not enjoy Rum-Raisin Ice-cream. And that is perfectly all right for there are myriad other choices offering themselves for my delight.

Yet... when my Friend of many years informed me, some time ago, that she is hesitant to allow herself to openly and publicly be my friend because of her children’s (all grown adults) reservations about me, I was disappointed. My big old twenty stone (sounds so much better than the equivalent in pounds) of feelings got themselves hurt. Why? Because ... (here is where I identify with Rum-Raisin Ice Cream) ... I am who I am. She doesn’t understand why I can’t mitigate myself to accommodate the sensitivities of her children. “Aren’t you denying them the opportunity to know you by insisting on Being you?” she asked. “Why can’t you soften up your presentation of yourself?” “They think that you are being ‘phony’ because you come on with such gusto.”

But who will they know if I present another image to them? Will the presentation of a ‘moderated’ me be an honest portrayal? Yet my friend persisted in the idea that we must ‘respect’ other people’s ‘space’ by adopting behavior that accommodates their sensitivities.

I lived the first four decades of my life in the daily practice of ‘accommodation.’ I was never relaxed. Every encounter was a ‘performance’ for the benefit and to gain the acceptance of, or create comfort for, my ‘Audience.’ This was as true with an Audience of one, as it was with a large gathering in some public meeting place. Consequently, no one (including myself) knew Me. I had no intimate relationships. There existed no place where I could go to, firstly, know who I was for my own knowledge and, secondly, to be that Person in comfort. The accepted social norm was that this was (and is) proper. I now reject that norm (for myself.) I also embrace the consequences resulting from that rejection.

One of those consequences is the reality that I will be (and am) sometimes rejected as a Person. That too is absolutely OK. For my Dear Reader, Rum-Raisin Ice-cream is not for everyone. But it is there for the individuals who have a preference for it and find enjoyment in indulging in its particular delights. And the Friendships that I now enjoy, I enjoy without reservation, in all of the intimate, passionate, and exuberant freedom, that is to be found, in Being the genuine ME.

(Don't you just love all of Life's available Flavours!?)



(NOTE: If You have been reading my stuff since February of last year, first,thank you for your kindness! Secondly, Yes! you have, indeed seen this piece before (March 2007.) But I like it! And I like to "run it up the flag pole" around this time each year (ice cream season is upon us!) So, if nothing else, maybe it will inspire a visit to your favorite ice cream parlor. [smile])


IMAGE Through the gracious courtesy of Ian Britton, FreeFoto.com

Generosity of Spirit

"It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others." ALFRED ADLER

Many years ago, I found myself kneeling at the finish line, on a track with six lanes of “runners” coming toward me … my camera at the ready … cheering the Runner progressing toward me in the lane that I occupied … and feeling the tug at my heart-strings as I saw him falling further and further behind the competitors in the five other lanes. The runner was my son. The event was one of several that he was competing in as part of the annual Special Olympics (a version of athletic competition tailored to the special limitations [all mentally impaired to differing degrees … some physically impaired] of its participants.) My son has cerebral palsy and the portions of his brain effected result in a moderate impairment of his intellectual functions as well as a minimal impairment of his hips, and legs. He was, on that day, the only participant in that race who relied in the services of crutches. And it was due to this limitation that he was losing ground to the other competitors.
My role, in all of this, was to subtly assist him in maintaining a focus on his own lane so that he would not drift off into the adjoining lanes. (That challenge of "focus" being one of the aspects of his impairment.) I accomplished this (without causing him the embarrassment that would accompany an obvious display of my intentions) by appearing to be intent on photographing him as he raced. I could see the growing dismay in his eyes as he recognized the inevitability of crossing the finish line well after all of the others had.

Then a wonderful thing, that (even at this moment, all of these years later) still has my eyes brimming with tears, at the recollection. The runner in the lane to my son’s right looked over his shoulder … saw the sadness and frustration on my son’s face … and stopped … and waited … and ushered my son … ahead of him … across the finish line. And then applauded my son (while also cheering him.)
Need I say anything more? Is there anything that my words could add to the eloquence of that young man’s sermon in demonstrated compassion and self-sacrifice? Can the poetry of one person’s obvious generosity of spirit be enhanced by anyone else’s commentary? I think not! So rather than speak to that young gentleman’s nobility, I will speak to us … You and Me.
Would it take so much for us to step aside and allow the one struggling along-side us to move ahead? Will our position in our own life-race be jeopardized by a spirit of generosity and sacrifice? Is that “finish line” of immediate gratification worth the loss of the higher goal of betterment of our shared environment? Will we be any “better off” as a people if we insist on focusing on our own agendas to the exclusion of a sensitivity to the plight of our neighbors? Did that young man not demonstrate, to all of us, the noble value of assuming responsibility for and taking action to benefit those who (while doing all that they are capable of doing) are falling behind?
No, My Dear Reader, I can not add to, nor do I wish to detract from the beauty of the message delivered by that wonderful Human Being’s behavior. So, in this thought on reaching out and touching others, I will dry my tears of recollection … and send these considerations to your safe-keeping.



IMAGE: Matthew Michael Brown (My Son)

Aristotle (pretty smart guy) on FRIENDSHIP

The ancients listed friendship among the highest of virtues. It was an essential element in the fully flourishing life. “For without friends,” Aristotle says, “no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.” Words worth remembering in a world of perishable “goods.”

According to Aristotle, friendship either is, or it involves, a state of Character, a Virtue. There are three kinds of friendship. These are based on pleasure in another’s company (friendships of Pleasure), or on usefulness in association (friendships of Utility), or on mutual admiration (friendships in Virtue). All are essential to the good life, and the best sorts of friends will not only admire each other’s excellence but take pleasure in each other’s company and find their association to be of mutual advantage. Here is a portion of Aristotle’s classic discussion.

From: The Nicomachean Ethics

"As the motives to friendship differ in kind, so do the respective feelings and Friendships. The species then of Friendship are three, in number equal to the objects of it, since in the line of each there may be “mutual affection ... mutually known.”

Now they who have Friendship for one another desire one another’s Good according to the motive of their Friendship; accordingly, they whose motive is Utility have no Friendship for one another really, but only insofar as some good arises to them from one another.

And they whose motive is Pleasure are in like case: I mean, they have Friendship for men of easy pleasantry, not because they are of a given character but because they are pleasant to themselves. So then, they whose motive to Friendship is Utility love their friends for what is good to themselves; they whose motive is Pleasure do so for what is pleasurable to themselves; that is to say, not insofar as the friend beloved is but insofar as he is useful or pleasurable. These Friendships are a matter of result; since the object is not beloved in that he is the man he is, but in that he furnishes advantage or pleasure, as the case may be.

Such Friendships are, of course, very liable to dissolution if the parties do not continue alike: I mean, that the others cease to have any Friendship for them when they are no longer pleasurable or useful. Now it is the nature of both pleasure and utility not to be permanent, but constantly varying: so, of course, when the motive which made them friends is vanished, the Friendship likewise dissolves; since it existed only relatively to those circumstances…

That then is perfect Friendship which subsists between those who are good and whose similarity consists in their goodness: for these wish one another’s good in similar ways; insofar as they are good (and good they are in themselves); and those are specially friends who wish good to their friends for their sakes, because they feel thus toward them on their own account and not as a mere matter of result; so the Friendship between these men continues to subsist so long as they are good; and goodness, we know, has a principle of permanence….

Rare it is probable Friendships of this kind will be, because men of this kind are rare. ... [ Note: With regard to the matter of 'rarity', it is worthy to note that, given the definitions of values inherent to Temperaments and Personality Styles (as identified by the “Myers/Briggs” methodology) those individuals given to the “Utility” and “Pleasure” motivations, as their most NATURAL and easily followed inclinations, make up approximately 85% of the general population. For these (the vast majority of the population) to seek the "Good" motivation requires some determined effort of Will.] ... Besides, all requisite qualifications being presupposed, there is further required time and intimacy: for, as the proverb says, men cannot know one another “till they have eaten the requisite quantity of salt together”; nor can they, in fact, admit one another to intimacy (much less be friends) till each has appeared to the other and been proved to be a fit object of Friendship. They who speedily commence an interchange of friendly actions may be said to wish to be friends, but they are not so unless they are also proper objects of Friendship and mutually known to be such: that is to say … a desire for Friendship may arise quickly but not Friendship itself."

_______________________________________

With the insights stated by Aristotle and restated countless times since then by innumerable others in various forms ... it should be clear to all that we do not all share the same hopes for, nor desires in, our friends. It is, then, my humble opinion that it might suite us better (and be far more fun), if we could celebrate the rare gifts in Friends that Life has given us; exercise the particular senses of 'taste' that satisfy our requirements for new friends; and avoid the easily available habit of condemning others for not living up to our unique set of expectations and/or qualifications for our "Friends."

I found ... in my personal quest to find a means for understanding (and accepting) the vagaries of those supposing to, at one moment, present themselves as Friend ... then assume themselves to be but passing Acquaintances ... that Dear Aristotle's observations were of great help. I offer them to You, Dear Reader and Friend, in the hope that your happiness and comfort will be similarly served.

Acceptance ... Respect ... Honor ... and Appreciation of each other - as we are - makes for a delightful world in which to celebrate the wonder of who we are. Just a thought ... [smile]


This item submitted with credit and thanks to the work of William J. Bennet in his "Virtues of Friendship and Loyalty." (A wonderful idea for a gift)

Our "Realm of Phenomenological Awareness"

To be confronted by a face registering absolute vacuity, is an experience intimately known to most (if not, indeed, all) parents. To see a complete absence of any willingness to understand or the total disregard for all that you are trying to convey, is the all-to- frequent plight of those who bear the burden of teaching, molding, informing, and/or nurturing. And, alas, this phenomenon presents itself to us, not only in this domestic setting, but, indeed, throughout our lives … in countless forums.

Attempting an explanation of involved circumstances, affecting tardy school assignments, to a Teacher who has “heard it all before;” explaining the importance of delivery requirements, to those upon whom those timely deliveries are entrusted; conveying the significance of repairs required by appliances, vehicles, or technical equipment to a 'Service Person;' engagement in the attempt to enlist the involvement of any Other in whatever matter having importance to us … all are, oh-so-often, met with that blank stare, of disconnected disinterest. They do not see any consequence in their acknowledgment of what is offered.

How often have we all asked the unanswerable “Why don't you understand how important this is?!” And we, then, plunge back into a redoubled effort to overcome the ambivalent absence of that Other's interest. “Why am I failing to make them understand?!” we demand of ourselves. And, time and time again, we retreat with a sense of personal failure. Our normal and usual response is to feel responsible for having failed to make clear, and impart, our intensely felt sense of urgency, to that Child, Teacher, Service Person, or Significant Other. We wrap ourselves, anew, in that bedraggled Cloak of Failure, yet again. For, my Dearest Reader, 'tis true! We have, indeed, failed. Why?

For an answer that we can feel has some objective and legitimate basis, I ask you to consider, with me, the lesson offered by the eminent medical doctor, psychologist, and founder of the School of Individual Psychology … the late Alfred Adler (7 February 1870 – 28 May 1937.) Adler is considered, along with Freud and Jung, to be one of the three founding figures of depth psychology, which emphasizes the unconscious and psychodynamics.

It is the Gift of an awareness, of the reality of each of our individual “Realms of Phenomenological Awareness,” that Dr. Adler has given me. He gave me a consciousness of our control of all that is Reality to us … by our willingness to open our awareness to any phenomenon. Unless I allow my mind to acknowledge the presence of anyone or anything … that person or phenomenon is not a Reality to me. It, or they, simply do not exist. I exercise complete control (as you do) over everything that my mind is introduced to. If I am not impressed with the worth, significance, or merit of some individual or circumstance to me and/or my life … it is dismissed from my individual “realm of phenomenological awareness.” I have not appraised them, or it, to have any consequence to me. It, or they, are (quite bluntly) Inconsequential.

So, don't you see, that Child, or that Teacher, Service Person, or Significant Other, do not know what I am saying (or indeed who I am at that moment) as a Reality to themselves … unless I have made them aware of some consequence that will affect them (positively or negatively) and triggered some catalyst that will open their door of awareness, into that Realm, that they and they alone control. When I learned … and accepted as Fact … this Truth, I began to enjoy a respect for everyone else's right to their own Realities … their individual right to determine what, and who, is of consequence to them. And I accepted my personal responsibility for the introduction of any new awareness that I might want to have someone else acknowledge, as part of their Realm of Phenomenological Awareness.

When I am confronted with that blank stare of incredulity or rejection … I know that I have failed either to appropriately evaluate the One to whom I am attempting a communication (perhaps they are not a suitable prospect for my thoughts or concepts) … or, if they are, indeed, the right subject for what I have to offer, I may need to repackage my message in a way that will earn a place of consequence in their estimation. Maybe I, and what I am offering, are simply not significant enough to impress them. I might, just possibly, be quite inconsequential to them. And it is my job to impress upon them, in a more meaningful way, just how significant I, and my ideas, are. If a spoonful of sugar is not working … perhaps a club would be more effective. If my words are not meaningful … perhaps a short note from a recognized Specialist or someone in indisputable authority would command acknowledgment. (Why are the words "Just you wait until your father gets home!" echoing in my mind right now? [smile]) Maybe a presentation of the potential consequences and penalties for dismissal of either my Self, or my suggestions, would admit, who I am or what I offer, into that selectively-controlled Realm of Awareness.

But to continue to repeat and persist in the same presentation that has rendered my voice mute and my offerings meaningless, while clinging to some mindless hope that such mindless persistence will bring forth some new result … is the demonstration of the old definition of Insanity. It is not personal. It is not a rejection of my Being. It is simply the playing out of what Dr. Adler suggested to his audience when he made note of their absence of any awareness of the structure of the ceiling above the auditorium in which he spoke. But … he told them … if he should announce that he had just been given a report from the building's manager, informing him that a great crack had been discovered in the main support beam that held back the many tons of materials above their heads … and imminent collapse of the roof, timbers, concrete, plaster, and all that constituted that ceiling, of which they had, previously, had no awareness … suddenly, and instantly, that nonexistent ceiling would become a dominant Presence in the Realm of Phenomenological Awareness of each of them.

This is the explanation that I gave a prominent Businessman, very recently, when he was bemoaning the refusal of a General Contractor to exercise a sense of urgency in the matter of coordination of phases of construction in a major project. “We are responsible for the finishing elements of this huge project … and all of those upon whom we must wait for our work to begin, are lagging behind the schedules. We will be left as the responsible Party for the un-readiness of the facility for its first function. But we have been well-prepared and simply waiting … waiting … while the General Contractor has refused to urge all of those whose contributions are prerequisites for our finishing phase, to adhere to their required schedules. We, and we alone, are going to bear the consequences (in financial penalties and added expense of extra hours and efforts at the end) for the failure of those others to complete their work on schedule. We have documented our many efforts and meetings with the General Contractor … all of which are ignored and dismissed.” my Businessman Friend explained. “You have failed to make yourself of consequence in his eyes” I responded. “You have not inserted your concerns into his Real of Phenomenological Awareness and made them his. But a brief letter from your attorney will make him, instantly, aware of the consequences and penalties that will be visited … on him … in court … if he does not act appropriately. Into that Realm of Awareness, those lagging workers will become an immediate Reality. You need say no more. Your voice has been deemed as insignificant by him. You, as a Person, and as an Individual, are something that, he has demonstrated, are inconsequential. You must introduce him to someone and something that will unavoidably demand significance … by demonstrating consequences.”

For, my Dear Reader, all that was true in the face of that disinterested Child … is just as true in the face of this grizzled man who controls an enormous project with all of its facets and intricacies. The consequences to the life of that young person, just as the outcome of the building project, will be affected by the willingness of each determining Individual to accept new Realities into that Place that respects consideration.

I offer this bit, of what Life has blessed me with, in the hope that You will find some use for it in your life's walk. For (as you know) a smoother and more pleasurable path is what I want, most, for You. Your happiness and peace are of infinite consequence to me. My love for You has introduced You into my personal Realm of Phenomenological Awareness. And your Presence there is most pleasant. [smile]

Lovingly ...

Ada Lovelace Day

To celebrate the role of women in technology,
today has been named Ada Lovelace Day.

Augusta Ada Byron was born in 1815,
the daughter of Lord Byron,
she is now known simply as Ada Lovelace.

A skilled mathematician,
she wrote the world's first computer programmes
for Charles Babbage's Analytical Engine.

Years ahead of her time,
she realised that the Analytical Engine
"might compose elaborate and scientific pieces of music
of any degree of complexity or extent."

She died, aged only 36, on 27th November 1852.

Text: BBC News (edited)

Photo: (edited) Hulton Archive/Getty Image/Circa 1840/Published 24 March 2009

The View ... Through a Keyhole

How very unfortunate is the experience of that Poor Soul, who insists on the absolute correctness of his View of Life … when that View is framed by and constricted to, the limitations of a Keyhole of Ideological Dogma, defined by his religious sect, political party, family tradition, or social attitude.

For he, in all of his zealous fervor, is denying himself the wondrous scope of Beauty that thrives just outside … in the diverse perspectives, opinions, and visions, of All who are celebrating the World of acceptance, and honor of one another … just across that Threshold defining His chamber of chosen confinement.

All that hinders Him from enjoying freedom of thought and expression … is that locked door … whose governing Key is His own free will and choice.


“Who is so deafe, or so blynde, as is hee,
That wilfully will nother here nor see.”

[1546 J. Heywood ‘Dialogue of Proverbs’ ii. ix. K4]

Response to a Bumper Sticker

I read a bumper-sticker, placed on the car parked along the path of my pre-dawn newspaper delivery route, some while ago. And it ’pushed a button’ somewhere within me. So, My Dear patient and tolerant Reader, you find yourself the victim of my ’venting.’ [smile]

If you want niceness to prevail in the world around you I offer this suggestion. How about asking “Please Be Nice” instead of dictating, in sarcastic tones, that the reader of your car’s bumper sticker (me, in this case) “Just Be Nice.” I will confess to my something-beyond-normal attention to the “music” or spirit of what is said. And, yes, I can perseverate on details that could easily be passed over. But… by golly… there is an undercurrent of unkindness, and indifferent insensitivity, that is growing into a major theme in our world. And I am ever-more convinced that it is born in innocuous messages. A bumper sticker that, no doubt, gave the driver of the car a feeling of having done a “good thing”… a “Better than thou” that cancels any possibility of something ‘nice’ coming from the exercise.

The phrase that is begun with the word “Just” is a phrase that is saying “All else aside… just _____”, or “I do not really care what your feelings, predispositions, or opinions are, just ____.” The employment of that four-letter word indicates the presence of intolerance, disrespect, and arrogant domination. The person driving that car is telling me “I don’t care what you think, who you are, or what you are dealing with right now … I am telling you to behave in a manner that I deem to be nice … because I feel that I have that right, and you should be obliged, to acquiesce to my command.”

Would it not be more in keeping with the supposed intent of that message to humble oneself, assume a posture of niceness:

NICENESS (definition)
1. Pleasing and agreeable in nature
2. Exhibiting courtesy and politeness
3. Showing or requiring sensitive discernment

In assuming such a posture, One would have to step down from their pedestal of pious self-importance. It is not easy to be arrogant when asking “Please.” But, Dear Friend, I submit that there can be a new and fresh undercurrent of kind consideration created in our world … that world that you and I touch … if we will but do the simple thing that begins with an honoring posture toward those whose lives intersect with ours.

Our world has a crying need for a lovingly caring and serving spirit from each of us to the other.

And all of my rambling on … sparked by a bumper sticker that was, no doubt, placed there with the best of intentions … though without the added moment of involvement in considering its implications. I would only ask that we all take the briefest of moments to consider our opportunities to, “Please Be Nice.”

There! Isn’t that nice? [loving smile]



Bumper-Sticker IMAGE: Cafe' Press

An Alternative View

In the course of the past week, I have had two, of the dearest people in my life, ask me heart-felt questions borne of similar circumstances in their respective lives. I have, separately, and individually, responded to each as my Lovely Muse has directed and encouraged me to. But, as we know all too well from past experience, She does not allow any matter of Life and living to pass away without lingering consideration and lessons. So, my Dear (and persevering) Reader, I share what continues to inhabit my mind with You.

Both of my lovely Friends are lamenting, and seeking healthy and constructive ways to deal with, the insidious (though quite natural) ravages of time and wear on the health and lives of Parents. It seems that both of these Parental Figures are frustrated and discouraged with their respective health problems. And their Spirits have lost what had been, heretofore, joyous and enthusiastic outlooks and attitudes. My one Friend asked for help in “finding” her Mother. She is seeking a way to recapture and breathe new vigour into the energy levels and perceptual powers of her Mom. She is saddened by the presence of a wearied and dispirited woman who was “only yesterday” a font of liveliness and creative intensity. My second Friend asked that I suggest a way for her to help her Dad (who, as a result of several recent strokes and the onset of Alzheimer’s disease, is not faring well) to find a renewed and invigorated Faith and sense of imminent Wellness.

Though I offered completely separate, and seemingly different ideas to these two caring and loving Daughters, I am, now, seeing a harmony in the theme of what I brought to them. To the first, I suggested activities that would engage the Daughter, the Grandchildren, and the Mother in exercises of revisiting and celebrating memories of past moments of enjoyment and accomplishment … while recording them in some tangible forms that would provide an indelible record of and resource for revisiting the memories. To the second Daughter, I brought the thought of bringing her Dad a new and fresh view of his life and circumstance through eyes and perspectives of others (including the Daughter) who have a concrete and realistic awareness of Beauties and Possibilities, stolen (by the pains and disconsolations of his illness) from her Father.

And, I now realize that I have suggested, to both of these exceptional women … the same basic thing. A different way of sensing Life’s elements. See it all differently. Guide your Loved One in discovering the Optional (for it is readily available … at our option) Awareness. Smell the Fragrance that is hidden behind the stench of the Obvious. Feel the Comforts that lie behind the curtain of Pain’s insistence. Engage in all that seems repugnant and worthy of discard. I am suggesting something that runs contrary to all that seems natural and “normal.” Embrace these aspects of Life and Living! For they are natural and worthy of respectful consideration. Just see the beauty that is hidden in their potentials. Do not allow the ultimate Monster of Fear to cripple your steps along this part of Life’s pathway. Know the victory of pushing away Fear’s blinders … to permit Life to illuminate new vistas.

I know that my enthusiastic enjoyment of the fragrance of the pungency of decaying organic matter … would seem to be strange (at the very best … if not, weird) to those who are ‘turned off’ by what they consider the stench of “rot.” But I find encouragement in the magic of Life’s reminder that nothing passes away without offering new life, in the form of composted nourishment, through the “passing away” of what was Before. So, I find genuine enjoyment in walking through bogs and swamplands. And the fragrance of that “passing away” is the nectar of new life and rebirth.

Whilst I listen to others of my generation bemoaning the loss of their former levels of physical and emotional abilities … I relish the wonder of the “fermentation” of my past experiences and circumstances into what I have determined to transform into a “vintage” that will give satisfaction and joys to any who wish to spend a moment savouring my presentation of the elixir of my experiential brew. All of those fresh elements of past happenings have far more worth and merit as they are distilled in vats of time and perspective. And I have chosen to celebrate them not as something lost … but as something turned into the fine wine of new worth. I get a nice buzz off of what my past has created. [grin] Don’t you see, My Dear reader? It is a simple matter of accepting the readily available “eyes” of Life … instead of the popular offering of our world’s more common view … death. I choose Light over Darkness.

So, this is what I suggested to my two remarkable Friends. I was offering the idea that they might find some ways to invite their Loved Ones out onto the balcony of new vistas and views … offer them a glass of a refreshing beverage distilled from lovely memories and delightful experiences … and have an intimate celebration of the wonder that is Life. Life as it is … right now … and right here … built on and made up of all of the magnificent collection of all of those harvested and fermented experiences and circumstances. This is what is available to each of us … if only we choose to make it so.

And it is just that simple … a matter of choice. Energized and brought to bear with a bit of applied effort. For, don’t you know, effort is required. This is not something that is presented on a platter of convenience. We do not hear any frequent voices of encouragement to see and hear Life’s possibilities. For, alas, all the world about us is voicing the same song of discouragement and despair. So, effort and creative energy is required … but more than well worth all that is invested. I promise!

Larry (part three)

As meaningful as the Individual part of Larry’s lesson to me was … it was, in truth, the second aspect of the message that I received. The first, and immediate, lesson was (as I watched him employ all of the might and strength developed by his upper body in its accommodation of his lower body’s needs) … (and Yes!! This is literally the exact thought spoken to my awareness in that very moment) … “If I suggested, to Larry, the idea of amputating his legs in order to make his swim less of an effort … he would tell me, ‘You go to hell ! These are my legs … a part of my total Self … and I am fully capable of taking care of and looking after their needs. Because they are a part of Me. And I love them just as I am lovable.'”

And I … right then … and right there … as I stood in the swelteringly humid and overwhelmingly loud swimming facility at The University of South Florida … I understood the responsibility of the total Body … to the less functional … even “handicapped” … part of that Body. I saw … heard … sensed … and knew that the all of the parts of the total Body, known as Humanity, have a natural and completely appropriate right, to be loved, and cared for, as members of that Body ... though they may be crippled by circumstance. I understood … in the midst of all of those cheers for Larry and his beautifully determined commitment to the success of his Entirety … that we, as The Body of Humanity, become stronger and more wonderfully balanced … as we care for, provide for, tend to, and nurture every aspect of who we are. That is what that room full of people were cheering for. Character! Commitment! Determination! Those were the values that spoke to us all as we watched Larry’s determined focus and purposeful struggles. We all had an awareness stirred within us in that moment.

And I knew, then, and have been repeatedly convinced, over the course of the nearly thirty years since, that we, as a Society … as a Global Body … have a daily opportunity to tend to the needs of the Entirety of our Self … as One. And the more care we give the members of our Body that are limited in some way … the stronger and better developed the rest of 'Us' becomes. This is what motivates me to seek out and respond to the Hurting and Disadvantaged. They are members of this Body that is Me. And I do not see amputation of them as a healthy remedy to their conditions or circumstances. No, indeed! I see the gentle, loving, and nurturing care of them as an opportunity to develop and make stronger the totality of the Body, of which I am but a small, but valuable, part.

This is what Life whispered to me in that long-ago moment. The Truth that lies in the balance of all that is intimately an aspect of Me … in my Individual Self … and just as importantly, in my universal Self. I am part of You. You are a member of this Body of which I am a part. We are healthy and functional when and as we accept, respect, nurture, and care for the Totality of who we are. In this way we become worthy of the cheers and applause of all of Eternity. To that end, I extend my encouragement and loving efforts … to You.

Larry (part two)

I know not what perceived “Burden” you carry today, My Friend. I have no knowledge of the “Impediments,” to your freedom, that are yours to bear. I do not speak to specific or even suspected challenges or frustrations that keep you from following your heart’s dream. Nor can I conjure any imagery of the Shadow of “if onlies” that accompany your daily walk. Your personal set of “unfair” circumstances is known only to you. And you are, most likely, disinclined to speak of them to even your most intimate of Friends … for fear of being seen as self-absorbed, selfish, self-centered, or some other label of “inappropriate” person.

But I could readily see and know the limitations that kept Larry from being all that even his fellow competitors were capable of being. And I was caught up in my own individual frustrations and dissatisfactions with the “unfairness” of his competition. He was the only person in that race who had a physical element of handicap limiting his ability to compete. All of the others were able to summon up the use of their legs. He was not. His legs just hung there. Dead weight. Useless appendages that served only to create drag and burden to his swim. It was patently unfair! And though I knew (at the intellectual and academic level) that he might not have a cognitive awareness (subject to his particular level of mental impairment) of the scope of the unfairness foisted upon him in placing him in direct competition with the others … I was frustrated and angry with the Organizers of the event, for what I decided was their corporate insensitivity to his individual circumstance. In the abstract, metaphorical sense … my Spirit was angry with Life for visiting an “unfair” set of circumstances on this vulnerable and helpless Creature. Thus, my Soul was primed for the Lessons.

First of those lessons was simply this “Larry is complete.” That’s all! Just that. Larry, and You, Dear Reader … and I … we all are complete. We have all … we are all … we are living all that is appropriate to balancing each of our individual formulae of living. His Yen was in perfect balance with his Yang. Our Ugly is in perfect proportion to our Beauty. His dead and uncooperative legs were in direct proportion to the strength of his upper body. Our Character has strength, in its depth and breadth of scope, which is in perfect balance to all of our life-impediments. His life experience was perfectly portrayed in all of its handicaps in balance with all of its joys … in That Moment. Yes! In that Moment, Larry was (to my awareness and with the interpretive whisper of Life’s loving and caring “still, small Voice” speaking to my Soul) a picture of what acceptance and celebration are all about. Larry was not mindful of his limitations in that Moment. He did not struggle with those frustrations and irritations that vexed him in his daily walk … as he compared himself (for I know, through my many years of walking with my Matthew, the realities of all of those plaguing questions and anxieties that accompany daily living as a person with handicaps) to the world around him. But in that moment … the purity of Life’s equation in balance was evident. And, in that moment … Larry was content … happy … jubilant … unfettered … and quite complete. “Live in the moment, John-Michael” was Life’s first lesson to me. “You are in balance … your life reflects the natural consequences of your choices, combined with your circumstances … all resting in the cradle of Life’s beautiful provision of eternal balance in Nature. It is all OK!”

Now! I ask that you please pay heed here, Darling Reader. For, you see, the lesson is not a stagnant one of finality and/or conclusion. Oh, no! For life is a dynamic, and ever-changing thing. Being Complete and in balance in The Moment does not, in any way or form, equate with being Finished. Larry was not a finished product. His life is not defined by what was Complete in that brief moment. Nor is ours. For, Dear One, we continually alter the “equation” of life with each breath that we take. And the unequivocal balancing and equalizing nature of life itself is constantly changing both sides of our individual life formulae. All governed by, and directly responsive to, our free-will choices. So, you see, in any instant … we are a Complete Package … and reflect the sum-total of our individual sets of “Causes and Effects” as they are played out in out ever-dynamic circumstances and choice-consequences. And, just as was true of Larry’s life-less and supposedly useless legs … all that is part of who we are in any moment … is a precious and valuable part of the totality of our Self. And is worthy of respect, honor, and acceptance. For, whatever it may look like in the eyes of others … in an instant of critical appraisal (or to our own critical eyes … in moment of private and secret reflection) each element of who we are … right now … is a rich and sacred aspect of that totality that is who we are. In that moment … and as we continue to evolve. We are, therefore, not a “Finished Product” until someone closes the lid on that box of this-life finality. Until that day … we are a perfectly balanced “Work in Progress.”

That is the first part of the Lesson taught to me, by Larry, that day. The "Individual" part. I will share the "Community" part in my next submission.

I thank You, Dear Friend, for your patient forbearance in my slow presentation of this work.

First-Aid Kit

Knowing our innate predispositions, and understanding our natural drives, perspectives, and inclinations, does not … in any way … immunize me against the effects of those characteristics. Oh No! All of the bruises and wounds that my individual nature is naturally susceptible to, I am readily vulnerable to. My preparedness (by virtue of my understanding of our natural temperaments), for our behaviours, neither shields me from, nor inoculates me against, those words and actions that flow from your Nature … and run contrary to mine.

So what good then, all of my knowledge and understanding (would be the expected question) does this awareness serve? Simply that, as I choose to see beyond the complex of our individual sets of fundamental differences … in order to permit Love to flourish between our eternal Spirits … I can prepare myself for those inevitable incidents of wounding and hurt. As I am aware of our disparate Personality traits … I can ready my triage of remedies to heal my anticipated injuries. This … and this alone … is the long-term benefit of knowing our Temperament/Personality types. That I may have my ’first-aid kit’ always in readiness for those instances when you unconsciously, and quite naturally, allow those traits that are quite understandable and normal … to flow freely. And I experience all … that is the natural conflict between your perspectives, and mine … that clashes in (what I feel as) an injurious collision, of malice-free disharmony.

I have learned that my feelings will, rarely, be hurt. I am fairly adept at navigating a course of conflict-free sailing. But when we run afoul of each other … and hurt occurs … too frequently, or is abusive … or if malice is, indeed, the root … I can withdraw from the Source of the clash. But I can NEVER change the natural temperament of any other person. I can only enjoy whatever span of moments we share ‘sailing the seas,’ of harmonious acceptance, together … in the bliss of mutual respect and compromise of desires … and relish that Gift, as the Gift of that moment … only. If that moment should meld into a span of moments flowing into days, years, and more … all the better! But I understand that I must, as a precaution against devastating surprise … keep my little set of understanding Awareness … my ’first-aid kit’ … available.

(Yes! … I was just reminded of this!)

Morning Reflection

Methinks we give Her cause for chortle …
A bit of a grin and a snicker, or a few.
Opening Her eyes with the dawn of a day, new to us.
But only another breath and of no particular significance to Her.

She smiles in patient acknowledgment of our supposed need to worry.
Is not Her timeless humour engaged as She sees our angst?
Are we not silly children to believe that our flailings matter?
Can we not see, as She does, how fleeting are our concerns?

Earth stretches herself in boundless expanse, Her end … nowhere.
We fret over the scope of what we see before us.
She giggles the laughter of countless voices in Her infinite continuum.
Whilst we battle to create monuments to our meaningless impulse.

All that is Her expression adjusts and compensates,
Realigning Her assets and resources to sustain our newest affronts.
Whilst Her children greet Her with their songs and their awakenings.
She accepts our foolish indifferences and insults.

Ah, but what bliss would be ours
If we would but see Her in all of Her glory.
If we would only allow ourselves the joy of pause,
Acknowledging Her constancy and power …
in humble gratitude.

IMAGES through the gracious courtesy of Ian Britton, FreeFoto.com

Airing That 'Laundry'

I have had this ‘bit’ weighing on me for all of my sixty-two years. The damned thing just will not go away. I had hoped that, with my “maturing” and with some measure of confidence attained, I would ,at some point in my life-journey, no longer be vulnerable to the insecurities and uncertainties accompanying “airing” my feelings. Perhaps “next year.” But for now … at the present … it is still a nagging pain in the asterisk.

You see, the deal is that I was raised in an environment that discouraged … no, that is to gentle … disallowed any “airing” of One’s feelings. In fact, the admission of even having feelings is granted certain “Weaker Vessels” and then only with an accompanying dose of disdainful disregard toward those who are so weak of psychological characteristics as to have a need for such an open admission of a less than concrete constitution. To have a disposition given to mention of emotions or feelings is to admit One’s inability to “handle these most-intimate of personal matters for themselves … in solitary privity."

So how was a young man … with a personality and temperament given to experiencing every element of living at the emotional level of consciousness; knowing every aspect of life in terms of passions, sentiment, feelings, and affections … to learn how to develop those sets of innate responses? From what source was such a young man to be educated, mentored, guided, admonished, and nurtured? Who, in an environment that cherished emotional sterility, was to be the model for me … yes (no shock to any who have known me for more that a few sentences of communication) for Me. For, you see, My dear Reader, I was directed, at every moment of confrontation with my natural pre-dispositions, to avoid “airing the laundry” of my thoughts, and, of course, those feelings and emotions that were destined to follow that dreaded circumstance of thinking.

“We do not air our personal laundry in public” was the handily applied aphorism that was broad-brushed over this particular aspect of living. “Keep it to yourself” was, and is, the controlling mandate of all in that environment. So, I made an on-going and valiant effort to “stifle” my Self. This went on for the first forty years of my life. I prayed prayers of fervent “Please God take away all of these questions that no one else is asking and content to live without answers to. Please, I beg You, remove these emotions and passions!” I would beg … right into my early forties.

Then, I began to see the validity of the questions. I began to accept the merits of the passions. I started to realize the wonder of having been created perfectly … as I am. I began to learn to speak what I had never heard spoken by anyone else in my world. I slowly experimented with addressing what I sensed in others … their withheld feelings and emotional needs. And they responded in the manner of a starving child presented with the breast of nurturing and sustaining life. Men, women, and especially children … in whom the flame of human sensitivities had yet to be beaten down by the suppressing forces of a world afraid of something that it had neither controls over nor means of addressing. The children are all-too-willing to “air” their wonderful feelings, ask their impossible questions, and voice their sterile-thinking shattering thoughts of infinite possibilities. This is what I tried to express in the Profile that I wrote at the outset of this blog when I said:
“I find joy in awakening Imagination and endorsing the expression of Emotion in children as well as arousing Emotion and awakening child-worthy Imagination in adults.”
I don’t know that I can improve on that statement at this juncture … now two and a half years later.

So, why now … here? Because two things have prodded and nudged me to make this feeble effort to address this matter of openly disgorging years of a pent-up tangle of familial, religious, corporate, personal, and societal values, standards, rules, and constitutions. First is that I allowed … yes allowed … for no one can impose any feelings on me … I allowed my itty-bitty tutus to get hurt. Yep, this six foot two inch hulk of former Marine Sergeant, Once Corporate Management Leader, Ordained Deacon, Owner/Operator of heavy construction company, gets his little feelings hurt … because he let them get hurt.

I chose to care about how others respond to my sometimes-clumsy efforts to give vent to feelings, impressions, and emotions that I have no standards or formulae to go by, in giving voice to. So, I have awkwardly stepped on some toes of sensitivity and/or delicacy. I know not in what particular way or at what point. But I, in my absurdly accurate intuitive way of sensing these things, am clearly aware of the chill of offense taken … or suspicious doubt employed by some who I genuinely like and would want to like me in return. And I let my Self feel it. Because, damn it, I do care! And I have no remote desire to deaden myself to that care. Even at the expense of potential injury to my delicate little tutus (feelings.)

But I was willing to bury this subject that I have struggled with for so long, for yet a while longer. Because there is simply too much of “Me” wrapped up in all of these considerations. It is too “personal.” But that dratted Lady Muse punched me in the ribs with my overhearing a couple at a party that I attended Sunday. They were discussing, with some gathered around, their feelings about some of the neighborhoods that they have been looking for a new home in. And they have encountered deed-restricted rules against hanging (“airing” to my pre-sensitized ears) laundry on outdoor lines “in sight of the public.” And (of course) I heard (in my own life-history pre-set awareness) “We do not air our laundry with others.” And I knew that I had not overheard the discussion out of some remote “coincidence.” (Darn that Lady Muse, anyhow!) Now, mind you, I am fully aware of the truest application of the time-honored “Do not air your dirty laundry in public.” And I do subscribe to the underlying wisdom of keeping life’s dirty little secrets private and … well … secret.

But the world that I grew up in, and have contact with to this day, has stretched that bit of aphorism to include ANY and ALL disclosure, mention, discussion, or admission of feelings, emotions, or intimate inclinations. … of any sort, kind, or description. The application of the rigid standard that “We do not discuss our feelings!” is glossed over with the broad-brush application of the aforesaid “laundry” maxim. And it is, in my personal estimation, and to my own individual sensitivities … crippling. And I am doing my dead-level best to learn how to overcome many years worth of the crippling effects of that early life. I may not have it smoothed to perfection … but my efforts at expressing the sincere workings of my Heart, as I am aware of them, when I am aware of them, and to whomever they are intimately intended … are genuine, unrehearsed, and absent any hidden agenda or intent.

So, I am rebelling. I went through the internet and downloaded photos of beautiful, colorful, wonderful laundry … airing itself in the breezes of openness and public availability. All for the sole purpose of fixing in your mind … and mine … the image of laundry being appropriately aired in a display of life being lived freely and openly. I think that it is beautiful!


(And I am going to make a concerted effort to be more gentle with my Self in the area of acceptance of my best-intended efforts at openness. And practicing of forgiveness and nurturing of my Self when I stumble over someone’s toes of sensitivities or suspicions of my sincerities. I see less hurt tutus in my future. [smile])


IMAGES (upper to lower) Getty Image,The Independent; Earth Day Every Day; Secondhand Nation; pinopower; retractableclothesline.org; The Dandelion Path

A Heart that is Right

I had just gathered my daughter from her school and was engaged in her recounting of her day'’s activities when accosted by an exercise of parent-testing in the form of her first-expressed four-letter expletives (at least, the first tested on my ears.) A casual glance in her direction was all that was required to confirm my understanding that this was a probe of my reactions and that I was being toyed with by my nine-year-old offspring.

I responded with a smile and "Those are only words. They have neither power nor significance beyond the intent with which they are delivered. Apart from a message from your heart, they have no value, either positive or negative. If your heart is right, I don't care what words you use, they will be welcomed by me. But, if your heart is wrong ... if you have a mean-spirited intention in your heart when speaking ... no words of any kind will be acceptable or tolerated. So, (and I called her by name) the only thing that I will respond to is, what I perceive to be, the condition of your heart ... not the vocabulary that you express your heart with." We, then, shared a mutual smile of understanding.

Hence this little missive to you, My Dear Friend. Please grant me this intrusion into the intimate privacy of your spirit where I ask that you consider a focus... an aiming, if you will, of your heart toward simple... Nobility. Thinking the kind thought. Speaking the generous word. Letting go of your 'rights' and allowing grace and felicity to govern your environs, if but for this moment. For, you see, this is the essence of the "Spirit of the law"” as we have oft heard compared to the "Letter of the law." This is, if you will, the "True North"” as opposed to the "Magnetic North"” on this ‘"planet"’ of our lives. And what I am asking is that you navigate to the "true" noble value of life while the majority all about you are navigating to the "magnetic"’ sets of common standards that (while headed in the same approximate direction) have their direction compromised by accommodation and expediencies of circumstance.

In the development of the ever transitory "‘letter" of the laws of acceptable choices, the world all too often seeks the path of least resistance to motivations that are far less than noble. But that "Still Small Inner Voice" within our hearts will always permit our discovery of the "‘spirit"’ of those laws if we only take a moment to stop and inquire "What is the true intent of this law ... this protocol ... this standard?"” I can assure you, with certainty, that you will discover a core value and worth ... a spirit ... behind that direction of governance (be it scripture, legal directive, community regulation, or family tradition) and you will easily discern the response that will be immediately comfortable and natural, for you. You will, then, hear the "voice" of your heart and know what your personal best response can be. Please be forewarned, this election may very well be in contrast to the choices of those around you. But this is your individual purpose in life; to interpret, illustrate, demonstrate, and offer the options that are your contribution to life. Herein, please be confident, and fail not. For it is from our individual choices made that we establish our Self-esteem and confidence of Character.

I hear myself offering, with ever-more increasing frequency, the advice to intimate friends (and even casual acquaintances [when opportunity allows]) to "trust, honor, and follow your heart." For, you see, Dear Friend, in the final estimation, this is the only defensible position that we, as responsible individuals, can ever have.

To say that we acted, chose, spoke, or decided based on any exterior influence (whether religious, corporate, social, professional, familial, or cultural) is to say that we abandoned our personal responsibility and hid behind some alternative standard (regardless how 'acceptable' or 'proper'.) But when we have adopted standards to the degree that they are the conviction of our Heart and have a living presence in our Soul of souls, then we can act on our Heart'’s convictions and assume undiluted responsibility for our behavior. We can say, "“I followed my Heart"” and rest in that simple statement as sufficient reason for our choices, behavior, and intentions. And it is my constant hope that those internalized convictions are, in every instance, tempered with the spirit of respect for, care for, and gentle kindness toward the world around us.

So, My Friend, you can hear the message that I tried to convey to my daughter, those years ago. There is forgiveness and acceptance in the understanding that our words may err and our actions may accomplish results apart from our intent. Mistakes and blunders will always be our companions in the living of this life. But if our Hearts are right ... if our Purpose is focused on kindness, generosity, and the best interests of others ... the clumsy words; the stumbling presentation of our ideas; the failed execution of our best plans; will be easily embraced by all who know our hearts ... and love us for our attempts ... and respect our following of our Heart's leading.



IMAGE: Through the gracious courtesy of Ian Britton, FreeFoto.com

Consider

I did a little shopping, on a morning, a while back. As I was leaving the store, I saw the Store Manager talking with a group of the store's Associates. In response to that nagging little Inner-Voice, I left my cart-full of stuff, went over with hand extended “Good morning! Please forgive my intrusion, but I want to thank you for the consideration that you are giving (and I named the associate) in this time of their having to deal with serious health issues. It is very kind of you and I want you to know that your response, and attention, to the matter, are noted and appreciated.”

I received, in return, a rigid handshake (not unlike what you would expect from any average store mannequin) accompanied by eye contact that is yet to be made. I left the store having accomplished my mission. For, you see, I knew that the Manager had, in fact, extended no consideration to said employee.

I could have approached him with a confrontational “I think that you should be more caring and considerate of the current physical challenges to a very diligent and devoted associate.” which would have put him on the defensive and put the associate in an even less advantageous position. A lose-lose-lose result. I opted, instead, to subtly let the manager know that his treatment of the associate did not escape outside eyes, that there was, at least, a chance that the associate was presenting him in a favorable light to the community. And that at least some, of said community, were willing to speak up for the Associate’s interests, a well as his(the Manager's) behavior. And all done in a pleasant and positive tenor.

As I went away from him, it was with the word “consideration” on my mind. And it is the merits of that word, that I want to visit with you about today.

"To Consider:"
*To show consideration for
*To esteem; regard
*To look at thoughtfully
*To think carefully; reflect
*To be occupied or concerned with

You have heard me use this word with more frequency than most words that I employ. The reason for, and purpose in, that is that I have an urgent desire to encourage all of us (myself included … I too listen to my admonitions) to take the time and expend the effort to “show consideration for”, and “to esteem and regard”, and “to look at carefully”, and “to think carefully; reflect”, and “to be occupied or concerned with” ourselves, our lives, and our influence on the individuals touched by our lives. This is the core purpose in all that I write and live. It is the essence of being in each moment. For to “Be” is (in my estimation) to be considering all of the functioning aspects of our Being. That poor Manager was caught up in Doing the stuff of his daily “to do list” without giving due consideration to BEing responsible for the consequences of his BE-havior. The significance of his actions beyond his list of "stuff" to be DOne was missed. He is missing life in its essence.

So, Dear One, I ask that you CONSIDER your Self and the significance of ... This very Moment ... in your own life-walk. It means involvement. To consider opens you to intimacy. You will be presented with immersion in the particulars of living. As you consider life's offerings, you will feel the experiences that are presented to you. And, I submit, you will be, truly, alive. This Moment is a gift. I do hope that you will enjoy, celebrate, and be considerate of it.

Lest you miss the opportunity to truly live ... this, and every, moment.



"Consider the lilies…, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin. And yet… even Solomon, in all of his glory, was not arrayed like one of these."
Matthew 6:28.


I do hope that You will count this as something worth considering.




IMAGES through the gracious courtesy of Jon Sullivan, PDPhoto.org

Rum-Raisin Ice Cream

I do not like Rum-Raisin Ice-cream.

There, I’ve said it.

There is nothing more to say on the matter (yet you and I know that there will, most assuredly, be more said.)

You see, Dear Friend, I do not begrudge anyone else their preference for Rum-Raisin Ice-cream. I hold no grudge against that flavor. There resides no bitterness in my soul toward the combination of elements that constitute that particular blend. I would never counsel anyone to disallow themselves the opportunity to sample that product nor would I undertake to undermine that dessert’s place in the universe of food products.

It is, quite simply, a fact that my own, personal, individual, particularly unique taste buds do not enjoy Rum-Raisin Ice-cream. And that is perfectly all right for there are myriad other choices offering themselves for my delight.

Yet... when my Friend of many years informed me, some time ago, that she is hesitant to allow herself to openly and publicly be my friend because of her children’s (all grown adults) reservations about me, I was disappointed. My big old twenty stone (sounds so much better than the equivalent in pounds) of feelings got themselves hurt. Why? Because ... (here is where I identify with Rum-Raisin Ice Cream) ... I am who I am. She doesn’t understand why I can’t mitigate myself to accommodate the sensitivities of her children. “Aren’t you denying them the opportunity to know you by insisting on Being you?” she asked. “Why can’t you soften up your presentation of yourself?” “They think that you are being ‘phony’ because you come on with such gusto.”

But who will they know if I present another image to them? Will the presentation of a ‘moderated’ me be an honest portrayal? Yet my friend persisted in the idea that we must ‘respect’ other people’s ‘space’ by adopting behavior that accommodates their sensitivities.

I lived the first four decades of my life in the daily practice of ‘accommodation.’ I was never relaxed. Every encounter was a ‘performance’ for the benefit and to gain the acceptance of, or create comfort for, my ‘Audience.’ This was as true with an Audience of one, as it was with a large gathering in some public meeting place. Consequently, no one (including myself) knew Me. I had no intimate relationships. There existed no place where I could go to, firstly, know who I was for my own knowledge and, secondly, to be that Person in comfort. The accepted social norm was that this was (and is) proper. I now reject that norm (for myself.) I also embrace the consequences resulting from that rejection.

One of those consequences is the reality that I will be (and am) sometimes rejected as a Person. That too is absolutely OK. For my Dear Reader, Rum-Raisin Ice-cream is not for everyone. But it is there for the individuals who have a preference for it and find enjoyment in indulging in its particular delights. And the Friendships that I now enjoy, I enjoy without reservation, in all of the intimate, passionate, and exuberant freedom, that is to be found, in Being the genuine ME.

(Don't you just love all of Life's available Flavours!?)



(NOTE: If You have been reading my stuff since February of last year, first,thank you for your kindness! Secondly, Yes! you have, indeed seen this piece before (March 2007.) But I like it! And I like to "run it up the flag pole" around this time each year (ice cream season is upon us!) So, if nothing else, maybe it will inspire a visit to your favorite ice cream parlor. [smile])


IMAGE Through the gracious courtesy of Ian Britton, FreeFoto.com

Generosity of Spirit

"It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others." ALFRED ADLER

Many years ago, I found myself kneeling at the finish line, on a track with six lanes of “runners” coming toward me … my camera at the ready … cheering the Runner progressing toward me in the lane that I occupied … and feeling the tug at my heart-strings as I saw him falling further and further behind the competitors in the five other lanes. The runner was my son. The event was one of several that he was competing in as part of the annual Special Olympics (a version of athletic competition tailored to the special limitations [all mentally impaired to differing degrees … some physically impaired] of its participants.) My son has cerebral palsy and the portions of his brain effected result in a moderate impairment of his intellectual functions as well as a minimal impairment of his hips, and legs. He was, on that day, the only participant in that race who relied in the services of crutches. And it was due to this limitation that he was losing ground to the other competitors.

My role, in all of this, was to subtly assist him in maintaining a focus on his own lane so that he would not drift off into the adjoining lanes. (That challenge of "focus" being one of the aspects of his impairment.) I accomplished this (without causing him the embarrassment that would accompany an obvious display of my intentions) by appearing to be intent on photographing him as he raced. I could see the growing dismay in his eyes as he recognized the inevitability of crossing the finish line well after all of the others had.

Then a wonderful thing, that (even at this moment, all of these years later) still has my eyes brimming with tears, at the recollection. The runner in the lane to my son’s right looked over his shoulder … saw the sadness and frustration on my son’s face … and stopped … and waited … and ushered my son … ahead of him … across the finish line. And then applauded my son (while also cheering him.)

Need I say anything more? Is there anything that my words could add to the eloquence of that young man’s sermon in demonstrated compassion and self-sacrifice? Can the poetry of one person’s obvious generosity of spirit be enhanced by anyone else’s commentary? I think not! So rather than speak to that young gentleman’s nobility, I will speak to us … You and Me.

Would it take so much for us to step aside and allow the one struggling along-side us to move ahead? Will our position in our own life-race be jeopardized by a spirit of generosity and sacrifice? Is that “finish line” of immediate gratification worth the loss of the higher goal of betterment of our shared environment? Will we be any “better off” as a people if we insist on focusing on our own agendas to the exclusion of a sensitivity to the plight of our neighbors? Did that young man not demonstrate, to all of us, the noble value of assuming responsibility for and taking action to benefit those who (while doing all that they are capable of doing) are falling behind?

No, My Dear Reader, I can not add to, nor do I wish to detract from the beauty of the message delivered by that wonderful Human Being’s behavior. So, in this thought on reaching out and touching others, I will dry my tears of recollection … and send these considerations to your safe-keeping.




IMAGE: Matthew Michael Brown (My Son)

An Addendum (see previous post)

This is an Addendum to my post of Thursday, April 10, 2008, entitled “our One Body of Humanity.”

I have edited/amended my post of yesterday to read (replacing the original parenthetical note in the midst of the apostles comments):


“(I will interrupt here to acknowledge that the apostle was addressing his intended audience which was the “Body” of Christian believers in Rome. He was applying a TRUTH that his Spirit directed to the specific need that was evident in that particular group ...at that defined juncture in the life of that assemblage of worshipers.

But it is my considered conviction that that TRUTH, applied by the apostle, and translated by him into that group’s interests in their struggles, is a TRUTH ... in independent, eternal and unconfined fact. (Just as Gravity is Gravity ... whether on earth, or in the most distant reaches of the Heavens.) And TRUTH ... any TRUTH ... is always of universal applicability. For, I submit, no TRUTH is only true in the confines of a limited sample … it is validated, and re-validated ... again and again ... without limit ... when proven in unbounded applications.

Therefore, for us to assume a position that Paul was so limited in his vision as to be confining his belief (in the TRUTH that he was applying) to be only true in that singular and peculiar circumstance, would require (what I consider to be) an enormous degree of underestimation of Paul’s intellect and vision. This man was a very learned and highly schooled person of diverse societal and cultural background. He had an awareness of the World that was certainly far wider in scope than any singular point of focus, for any particular problem’s solution. In today’s terms; it is extremely doubtful that Paul’s understanding of any TRUTH was confined in any “Box” of any brand, persuasion, label, or denomination. I am quite certain that Paul never felt that he (or anyone of his contemporaries) had an “Exclusive Franchise” on the Love, or Favor of The Almighty … the Creator of All.

I am comfortable in my conviction that Paul understood that he, and those who prescribed to his teachings, had something that “worked” for them … that met their spiritual need. And there can be no doubt that he fervently believed that all who would subscribe to those convictions and precepts that he espoused, would benefit to the fullest possible extent that he could conceive of. Hence his zeal in promoting an acceptance of and adherence to his understandings of the order of spiritual matters as he saw them.)”

For me to ascribe something that is an obvious TRUTH, in and of itself, to be the sole “property” of … and to assign exclusive “ownership” of that TRUTH to a people, place, or time of that TRUTH’s application is … well certainly not “open minded” … to say the least.

I am delighted in the realities that are mine to enjoy today. And chief among them is the wonderful awareness that all of those “walls” of sectarian fundamentalism that had confined my understanding and stifled my joyful celebration of the universality of my Creator’s powers, affections, and intimacies … are simply … GONE! Leaving me in this marvelous position and condition of anxious anticipation of WHATEVER infinite possibilities my tomorrows hold.

And the absence of ANY “need,” on my part, to define, package, pigeon-hole, label, affix ownership of, or explain any of what my Creator has Allowed, or Defined, as the Past, is no more. For, you see, My dearest Friend … I take every breath of Life in complete confidence that ALL of it … Past, Present, and most assuredly Future … is in “Hands” that are fully capable of handling it. It ain’t my job! Not the understanding, the explaining, nor the predicting of any of it.

I am free and enabled to go from this, and every subsequent, moment … and enjoy it all! And, believe me, I do! For my joy is realized every day in Your letting me know that You … yes! YOU … have had a moment’s peace where there was turmoil before. In You smiling when just a moment ago tears were your mask. In my awareness that my words … my Love … my demonstrated concern … my spreading of all of that “composted” pile of my experiences, around those hungry roots of your life-plant, has nourished and nurtured your growth and blooming. Oh yes, My Darling, I enjoy my ... “fundamentalism-sectarianism-free” ... life!

May the “walls” of your entrapping “box” of spiritual confinement come tumbling down … real soon! (But not a moment before you have grown and developed an individual strength that no longer benefits from their protection from the confusions and doubts that would assail you from without.)

NAMASTE, MY Darling Friend!