For You

“So… go ahead… end it all. If you want to carry the knowledge that you had something to offer someone, but you selfishly chose to terminate your temporary discomfort and inconvenience at the expense of all of those whose betterment you are willing to discard… go ahead. But remember… this deal is an eternal business. It goes on beyond this immediate set of circumstances. And all of those who had what you could have given them taken away by your self-focused cowardice are eternal too. If you want to carry the awareness that you took away what I… Life… had entrusted in you, for them… that is your choice to make. If you think that you are miserable now… make that stupid choice… and find out what miserable really is. You have a free will. The choice is yours to make. Your puny, insignificant wants… or the needs of others whose life experience could be enhanced by what you have entrusted to you, for them.”

This was the response of Life to my repeated bemoaning many years ago. I didn’t know that I was bearing the load of clinical depression that had weighed me down all of my life. I had no knowledge of or even awareness that there even existed such a thing as an Idealist Temperament… or that I was an extreme introvert by nature. I only knew that everything that I encountered in my life turned to… well, for want of a socially appropriate term… doo-doo. And I was tired of being tired (something that you will always hear from those who are struggling with the debilitating forces of depression.) I just wanted it all to be… over!

And no!… this was not an isolated event in my life. I have faced this wall of confrontation several times in my past. And the forces of that conflict are still, to this day, present in my awareness. But I have made the conscious choice to remove my focus from myself and to place it, in trusting faith in the omnipotence of Life, in you. That’s right! In You. Even if we do not know each other, Life knows us both. And you are reading these words typed by my hand, in response to the thoughts and impressions that I sense in my inner awareness of Life’s leading. Thusly, I am speaking directly to You… specifically. And you cannot say, after this reading, that Life never answered you. Even if you stop reading at this juncture… you now know… Life responded to you… through me. For you are the only reason that I choose to continue to exist. To offer you whatever there is of me for you. That is my chosen purpose… to focus on you… and intentionally put myself aside.

I have no idea (nor is it important that I know) what there may be in this message, for you today… at this moment. But whatever it has for you… or for your understanding of others… here ’tis!… because of Life’s direction in my life and my choice to be here for you. And to the end that you may, in some way, benefit from it, I remain, your Friend and Servant,

John-Michael