Thursday, December 31, 2009

Building Project


My, oh my! How discouraged I have, so often, been. My past was colored by the belief that every element of my life was to be held up to a Final Inspection … the ultimate examination that determines the acceptability of a finished structure. With each disappointing incident along my life’s path, I felt myself (afresh and anew) a Failure. I labored under the misconception that each step along the way was a decisive and final one. I now know better.


What I now understand is that this whole deal is a construction project. Yep! I was, and continue to be, under construction. What I did not see was the purpose and intent of the Great Architect in my life. Happily, I now get it. I see all of that yucky and unfulfilling work, that was so exhausting and unglamorous, as the necessary clearing away, of all that would impair the ultimate enterprise … the building of the ‘Who’ that I am (someday) to be. (A lot of “site preparation” was required in my life. Much removal of faulty ideas, tainted mindsets, prejudices, and biases cluttered the environment of my “job site.” A lot of rubble and unstable substrata needed removal.) This was played out in a host of frustrating and painful experiences and choices that seemed (at the time) to spell “More Failures.” (These are the times when the world around us may think that we are wasting our time or our talents. They see no impressive outer evidence of anything laudable in our lives … for “site work” is neither glamorous nor entertaining to those looking from the outside.)

With each confrontation with conflict or change, I felt that I had, once again, fallen short of some mysterious Standard. (A religious fundamentalist upbringing contributed greatly to this mindset.) Instead of the refining of myself that I now know was taking place … I saw my walk through life as stumbling and disjointed. Relationships, jobs, and associations seemed to lay haphazardly strewn in my life’s wake. Now I know that each was necessary for the construction of a Foundation upon which I could become who I was designed to be.

I could have built my life as a Lean-To that would provide rudimentary shelter. I had plenty of encouragement to settle for that. “Know your place, and stay in it!” was the constant message from all of the ‘Significants’ of my world. But the Grand Architect of life obviously had other plans for me. And it is definitely so for each of us … you included, my Dear Friend!
So, I ask that you consider, with me, the reality that is our shared life experience. I ask that you allow a new perception of what is going on in your life, as a necessary (and useful) stage or step in the building of a finer and more fulfilled You. Where you see yet another instance of something incomplete, consider that it might be the digging through, and removal of the unsteady ground of unstable thinking or fears … in order to pour a solid foundation of reliable certainty, and resolute determination.

When the ‘walls’ of your life’s structure seem to be so slow in taking shape today … couldn’t it be that Life is guiding you in carefully setting in place a ‘cornerstone’ that will determine the true and certain reference point for sound and reliable choices in your tomorrows? I encourage you to permit patience in this critical step in your life-work. It will make for many happy moments of satisfied reflection as you watch, with confidence, your life’s ‘structure’ take shape. Please be patient with yourself … and Life.

I relish the idea that I may never complete the finishing touches on this building enterprise. For I can reflect on those marvelous cathedrals that inspire and give comfort to all who either stand at a distance and allow the wonder of them to touch their Spirit … or, upon entering, embrace whatever elements of these grand edifices they find speaking to their core. These cathedrals have been built, not by one generation of builders and craftsmen … but by many, who added their contributions to what they had been inspired by and drawn to. It is my hope to have contributed to the site work, foundation preparation, and perhaps even cornerstone laying and wall beginning, that will give inspiration and enthusiasm to succeeding Souls who will enjoy adding their own skills and talents toward the building of a world that will promote loving acceptance of others; caring service to our community; gentle support of neighbors; and a place of respite for those who are weary and worn by life’s storms and trials. Whatever I can add to that Cathedral is a good thing!

This is the cathedral that I give myself to building. This is the blueprint that I have envisioned and given myself to. In this understanding, I can accept all of the ‘site work’ that is my past. I embrace all of those pesky changes and alterations that I had to make to what I had heard others tell me was what I should be … or ought to be doing. (It is now clear that there are all too many “sidewalk superintendants” who are willing and anxious to voice their opinions, as to what they see as the ‘proper’ edifice, that our lives should take shape as.) Happily, I trust the Eternal Architect of life, and rest in the vision that I am given for today’s efforts. I know that the application of my best efforts, in each of my “Todays,” will, ultimately, result in something worthy. This frees me of concern for whatever the “finished product” will be. Giving my best to what is at hand is my immediate responsibility.

I am completely content with allowing Life to take care of whatever the future might be. Not my job! Had I leaned on my past understandings, I would have settled for some lesser structure that would have disappointed and failed to provide comfort for my Spirit. I am now enjoying my daily installments toward something that I am certain will be far better than I could have ever imagined. (For I celebrate my present state of Being as exponentially better than I had ever hoped for.)

I know that all of this may sound at least a bit ‘spatial’ and abstract. But I ask that you permit my thoughts a place in the quiet of your consideration … that your own Inner Voice might whisper whatever Truth or Encouragement that may germinate from my whimsy.

Ultimately, I do think that we can, together, find some measure of comfort in considering this Moment as an acceptable, and even satisfying, step in the direction of our meaningfully enjoyable lifetime. I know that your love and encouraging support have made the structure of my Being much more sound and comfortable. And I thank you for your kind and generous contribution. I bid you “Good building!”

[loving smile]

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

We Cavorted



“Cavorting!” … This is the word that proclaimed itself to my mind in the instant of my awakening. That is what Dad and I had just been doing. Then I awoke … and had the immediate realization ... “Dad is gone!” (for this is, in truth, the sad fact.) Yet I was stilled for a moment by the suddenness of my recollection. What I had just been enjoying was a memory of something that had never been a common reality for Dad and me … “cavorting together” (though he and I had a long-running, tacit understanding that we would have loved to.)


The closest that we ever came was on that Thanksgiving Day, some years ago, when I showed up, at the home that he and Mom shared, with the promised Thanksgiving feast purchased from a restaurant. All of the side dishes were prepared and ready. All that was required (as I now recall) was the baking of the turkey, made ready, by
the restaurant, in a pan.

Given the fact that a span of a few hours was needed for the roasting of “the bird”, Dad and I obtained the reluctant approval, from Mom (who did not like the idea of joining us, in our excursion, "just for the fun of it") for the two of us to set out on an exploratory drive ... in my new Jeep Cherokee.

So … off we went. And I do not remember having ever seen Dad letting himself enjoy such a child-like delight in an adventure. Lighthearted laughter and freedom of spirit were our comfortable companions. Me and my Dad. My Daddy and I. Us! Father and Son. It was glorious!


We drove to a spot that had a view over the Bay to the flashing light of, what remains of, the Egmont Key Lighthouse, where his Dad (my Grandfather), had served as Assistant Lighthouse Keeper, in Dad’s youth. We read the inscription on the memorial to the sailors lost in the sinking of a Coast Guard ship … whilst savoring the distinct aromas of the head-waters of the Bay.

We treated ourselves to some silly snacks from vending machines (something that Dad had always considered an expense far beyond rational reason.) I showed him new avenues of travel made possible by the construction of bridges and roadways that he had no idea existed. And we arrived back home later than Mom had allowed was considerate of her.


As I spoke with Dad through the open window of the Jeep, upon taking my leave, and subsequent to a very miserable evening, of strained submission, to an air of guilt and reproof, Dad said only “I’ll never do that again!” Which proved (unfortunately) to be quite prophetic, on his part.

But we did,
just that once, cavort! And it was enough for me to have a recollection, upon my awakening, of how wonderful it was.

I miss you Dad. (And I miss all of the cavorting that we would have loved to have done ... but never did.)


[Definition: “Cavort”/ To act or behave in a jovial and exuberant fashion. ]

Saturday, December 19, 2009

How Real?


There is always the remote chance that someone reading my thoughts, or engaging me in a bit of a chat, focused on our responsibility to the Moment, will question "How Real" my actual practice of what I profess, might be.

I am sharing today's living demonstration of just such a happening. (Mind you ... I would never offer my personal response as any sort of 'standard' ... only my own individual choice of "Muse satisfaction." [smile])


'Twas upon seeing a very familiar name on a list of fellow graduates from my high School. Good ol' reliable Muse whispered her conspiratorial "Lest she never know!" And I clicked on the "Send Email" icon.

The message speaks for itself ...



Hi [name withheld],

It has taken these many years ... and Life 'nudging' me through Mom's reminding me of the instance (she was always very fond of you,[and knows how much I cared about you]) ... for me to muster the courage to confess what caused me to allow our budding relationship to wither.

Please know that I was totally enchanted with you. And on that night (that you have probably completely forgotten by now) when I was taking you home in our family car, I stopped and told you hurriedly that I had to "check on the strange noise coming from the rear of the car." What I did not then ... and it has taken 'til now to ... have the courage to tell you, was that I had an undiagnosed problem with my bladder. I, in fact, had to frantically get out of the car and hide behind the open trunk, to deal with the fact that my bladder had failed me. Yep! I wet myself. Hence, when I got you home, I could not get out of the car and walk you to the door. My pants were wet. (Believe me, this is still painful to recall.) I was humiliated beyond words.

When I heard later that you Dad forbade you to see me again because of my demonstration of poor manners and disrespect, I was despondent. But it was too much for me to speak of. Even after the doctor diagnosed what he called "spastic colon", and remedied the temporary condition with some pills, I could not overcome my humiliation, and sorrow, to tell you how devastated I was at the loss of whatever our relationship may have held the promise of being (and have revisited that loss with remorse many times since.) I was truly in love with you. There! At long last, I have told you.

I have lived, for a long time, with the guiding life-navigating star of "if it holds the possibility of ever being an 'I wish I had' ... do not let the moment pass without doing or saying whatever holds that potential." If I had not let you know the truth about that miserable night ... it would forever remain an "I wish I had."

I truly hope that this strange and unusual note finds you basking in the fullest of this Christmas Season's joy and happiness. I remain, forever, your admiring Friend and Servant,

John-Michael


There ... now You, Dear Reader, know that I do (even in the most awkward and challenging of circumstance) honor my Spirit's claim on me. As bizarre and odd as this example may seem, (and I know that you cringed [with me] as you read it) I cannot deny Life's claim on me. Responsibility to the demand of the Gift of each moment is what drives me on. And I promise You that it is a joyfully satisfying and fulfilling path to follow.

Just listen ... then trust the result or response to the omniscient power of Life's unfailing Love. It NEVER blunders.

I love You.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Linger With Me ... For Just 4 Minutes



Now ... close your eyes ...




There!

(I knew that you needed that.)

[loving smile]


Friday, December 11, 2009

Tarry a While

I am a horrid Travel Companion. I frustrate and fluster my partners. While they are eager to hurry and see more and more of whatever there is to see, I am compelled to tarry. It is my way. My right-brain dominated senses cannot take in the essence or nature of a setting or sight in fleeting haste. I must dwell in that set of stimuli in order to process it all. Then, and only then, am I able to appreciate, ingest, and celebrate what is offered.

It is so, for me, with every element and aspect of life. I do not recall having ever been totally sated with any indulgence in experiential foreplay. I have an unquenchable desire for the prolonging of every exchange of sensory awakenings. The climax of an experience spells an end to the magic of the arousal. And, be it physical. Intellectual, or ideological, I thrill in the adventure of every aspect of each unique moment.

So, please save yourself the exasperation of my company if you are inclined to hasten toward something beyond the ‘right now.’ I will be lingering with, and savouring, what is. I will be slowly inhaling the aromas and sampling the textures of the smallest and simplest of each note and tone constituting the symphony of this moment.

I do invite You, Dear One, to consider abiding (for just a wee little bit) with me. Know the joys of dwelling in this singular Present, and Place. Grant your Self, sweet repose, in a giddy bit of lollygagging.


[a loving smile]






IMAGE
: Through the generous courtesy of Jon Sullivan, PDPhoto.org

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Our 4th Visit to an IDEALIST Neighborhood Card Shop

We Idealists are, if you will, the “Neighborhood Card Shop” of life’s market place. We do not offer the “necessities” of life … the lumber or nails … the motor oils … the bread or butter, nor the wine or cheese. We offer, instead, the reminders of the ideals that make all of the essentials worth their pursuit. Meat and potatoes we do not present … but we do offer the bouquet, the candles, the card that expresses the sentiment that You might wish to convey over the fine dinner prepared from the meat and potatoes. We do not provide essential nutrients for the sustenance of the Flesh ... we offer the reminders of the Spirit and Soul, the Emotion and Desire that inspire the Heart as well as the Mind. We provide the ’soundtrack’ that adds dimension to the ’movie’ of life.

There are far fewer "Card Shops" than there are other merchants. There is good reason for their infrequency. Life’s day-to-day requirements have material need for far more of the providers of ‘basics.’ It is also true that The Almighty created a fewer number of us Idealists in life’s mix. (Providing evidence of obvious 'Divine Intention' in this design ... fewer 'spices' are necessary in the 'recipe' of living.)

I know my place. I do not offer myself as your provider of your day-to-day material requisites. But, My Dear Friend, I ask that you grant proper acknowledgment and acceptance of … respect and care for my place in the “shopping district” of your world. I will serve you happily and faithfully.



(Those of you familiar with this blog will recall having seen this message before. I replay it here, once every year or so, to allow new Readers to know me better. I do hope that this little 'window' into my Person serves that purpose well.)




IMAGES [top]Silvia Doberti,
[center] Ian Britton, FreeFoto.com
[lower] Jon Sullivan, PDPhoto.org

Monday, December 07, 2009

Lovin' Louis


"Ain't nobody played nothing like it since, and can't nobody play nothing like it now," he told an interviewer around the time that he recorded his last album.




"My oldest record, can't nobody touch it. And if they say, 'Which record do you like the best?' I like them all, because I didn't hit no bad notes on any of them." Louis Armstrong

Friday, December 04, 2009

Our 'Youthful' Choice



I was QUITE resolute in my determination to NOT watch (yet AGAIN) the presentation of that well-worn (and recreated twice) film,
The Bishop’s Wife.

Then (don’t you know) there it was … playing on the television when I concluded one of my many delightful telephone conversations with Mom. (Today is her birthday.) So, YES! … I am watching it even as I type this little note to You … My Lovely Friend.

‘Tis through eyes moistened by tears of awareness of all that my Spirit and Being are, that I write these words of loving encouragement and endearment to you. This precious bit of a movie awakens all of that in me. It always has. (Which is why I had determined to not open all of Me, by viewing it again.) [smile]

Please allow me to share a bit of my reflections motivated by one little line spoken by ‘Dudley’ (the angelic character in the film [played by Cary Grant].) He said, "The only people who grow old are the ones who are born that way." And I must take exception to that statement. (Those who know me best can easily understand how I can take exception to [and even involve others in my reflections on] a statement from a 1948 movie.) [grin]

I tell You, Precious Reader, that the only people, who grow old, are the ones who make the choice to be so. Happily (for us all) some are mindful of … and choose to stay in touch with … the glories and richness of their youthful Selves. The opportunity to remain forever fresh in our perceptions; to maintain the giddy joys of curiosity; and to glory in newly realized sensations and experiences, is at the disposal of each of our individual Spirit’s.

I lovingly bid each of us (yes … me too!) a constant renewal of those joys, glories, and freshness.

I love You (I
REALLY do!)

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Monday, November 30, 2009

Here ... There


So inviting
is the Next;
the Beyond;
Ahead.


"Patience." whispers Now.

"Know the Present;

this Moment;

what Is."





John-Michael
30 November 2009 (now)




Original Image: Ivor Bond, BBC

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Our Annual 'Over the Hedge' Visit ... Finale'


by Michael Fry and T Lewis






I pray your "finale'," to life's momentary Circumstance, be equally celebratory and whimsically silly. (I do so enjoy a good "silly!") [smile]

Loving You ...

Friday, November 20, 2009

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Sunday Afternoon


I invite You to join me in a moment of Sunday afternoon tranquility. From the Cottage ... across the highway, to the Lake.




Ahhh ... this is good!







We'll share the dock with the Bird as he dries his wings. [smile]

Saturday, November 14, 2009

'The Woman I Am'


Though the words of Glen Allen, in this poem, are obviously gender-specific … experience has taught me that the life-dynamics, so beautifully articulated, are all-gender inclusive.



THE WOMAN I AM

The WOMAN I am
Hides deep in me
Beneath the woman
I seem to be.

She hides away
From the stranger’s eye –
She is not known
To the passers-by.

She goes her way
The woman I seem,
But the woman I am
Withdraws to dream!

The woman I seem
Goes carelessly –
When love goes by
Does not seem to see.

But the woman I am
Knows sudden fear …
And hides more deeply
When love draws near!

For love might look closely,
Perhaps … and see
Her, beneath the woman
I seem to be!

GLEN ALLEN


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

"The Human Touch" revisited


In this day of applied Programs, Plans, Initiatives, and Systems, there is a void that is all too often left wanting. That want is addressed by this work of Spencer Michael Free. He (from his perspective as a practicing physician) spoke to an elementary requirement of the Human Spirit. I ask that we consider the power and potential that awaits each of us… if we will but offer our own personal provision of “The Human Touch.”


The Human Touch

'Tis the human touch in this world that counts,

The touch of your hand and mine,

Which means far more to the fainting heart

Than shelter and bread and wine;

For shelter is gone when the night is o’er,

And bread lasts only for a day,

But the touch of the hand and the sound of the voice

Sing on in the soul alway.


Spencer Michael Free (1856-1938)
Free graduated from the College of Physicians and Surgeons of the Johns Hopkins University in 1880, and practiced medicine and surgery for some fifty years thereafter. In addition to some one hundred medical papers, he wrote many poems.


IMAGE: Maria Brandstetter, BBC

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Her Visitation



I meandered … purposeless; disjointed …
Completely aware; senses awake and functioning …
My pace knowing no dictates; heeding only fleeting impulse …
Free to stop, linger with any interest … or hurry past any suggestion.

Then, unbidden, came that tiny butterfly …
Light, delicate, unimposing, yet insistent …
Not resting on my smallest finger, but brushing it,
with powder-like softness …
She urged me along … in a direction, and at a pace, of her choosing.

Willingly, I fell in step with her chosen tempo …
Thoughtlessly, I joined in her unrevealed agenda …
Allowing her to free me of burdensome considerations …
I gladly joined her in a journey without definition.

Such is this visitation from my Darling from afar …
This is the joy of her effect on my Being …
And I celebrate, silently, and gratefully, her loving intervention …
Too wonderful, and precious, to be reduced to language.



John-Michael

01 November 2009
(Thank you, Silvia, for the book of poetic writings)

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Sharing A Sun-Rise



One of the most pleasant elements, of my daily life, is looking from my cottage's front yard toward the lake ... visible beyond the highway and the power-lines, and teasingly-close.




So, when I awoke in the pre-dawn hour a few days ago, I brewed a pot of coffee, picked up my camera, then the lawn-chair, and in the illumination provided by a flash-light (torch), I crossed the road, and set myself up on the nice little platform at the end of the dock ... and awaited the Sunrise.



As light began ... this is what I enjoyed ...





I will allow you to take in (without commentary) the sequence that followed ... at 10 or 15 minute intervals ...










At this point, I could see ... to the South ...



The South-West



The West ...



And to the North-West ...



Then, it was back North, across the highway (busy with "off-to-work" traffic) ... and back to the Cottage, that is Home.



I hope that a bit of the Spirit that I basked in, on that morning, will lend a moment of calming peace and tranquil pleasure to your Heart.

I thank you, Darling Reader, for making it all the richer for me, by sharing in it with me.

I do love You ...


Friday, October 23, 2009

It's Ice-Cream


We were having one of our extended telephone chats … one in which all of her current interests, concerns, and imperatives were on the ‘table.’ We discussed family, parenting, love-life, and long-term, as well as short-term, plans. She was describing how she feels about ‘Him’ … and interrupted the flow of her reflections with, “Is it OK to feel about him that way?”


I paused (for it takes a moment for Life to whisper to my Muse … and then a moment longer for the Visual [for I process life’s input through visualization … it’s how my mind works] to be passed through to my waiting Spirit.) “Do you have a favorite flavor of Ice Cream?” I asked. With only the slightest of stuttering pauses, she answered, “Well … yes … yes I do!” “There you go then!” I replied. “Did you hear the confidence and certainty with which you just gave me you answer to my ice-cream question? There was neither pause, nor waiver in your absolute clarity on the finality … and ‘rightness’ … of your personal preference and opinion on your choice of ice-creams.

“You are ready and willing to state your election on that matter … without regard for the opinions or preferences of Others. You know, with an absolute certainty, what your taste-buds respond to with spontaneous enthusiasm. And, while you have just over forty years of experience with everyone in your personal world challenging, belittling, condemning, demeaning, discouraging, and undermining every decision and choice that you have ever expressed or selected … no one could ever dispute your personal ice-cream flavor choice.

“You have all of these years of habituated uncertainty … frightened insecurity … and absence of confidence … in the merit and worth of your intuitive and inspired opinions, yearnings, inclinations, and desires. This has been so in every arena of your life. But … you are absolute about ice-cream.

“Please hear me when I tell you that you are brilliant beyond your fondest imaginings. You are wise beyond all of those Voices that seek to hold you in their controlling grasp. You are insightful beyond the horizons of the immediate. So, Sweetheart, listen to … have confidence in … honor and trust what that amazing Heart, Mind, and Spirit tell you. Including how you feel about ‘Him!’

“Because, My Precious, it’s all ice-cream!”

Saturday, October 17, 2009

'Tis Art



Residing quietly within, is an appetite … a still, unassuming, yet ever-present, desire.

Its Voice is but a whisper … and it always defers to the demanding dominance of present circumstance.

I hear it whilst in the quiet of a gallery, or concert hall … when all of Today’s impositions are distanced.

It is there, in the Sanctuary of Silence, that the gentlest of murmurings is heard.

There … in the dramatic (and sometimes tender) release of those brushstrokes …
the melding and blending of Images; that stirring scene …

In the sonorous connection made with that particular harmony, rhythm, or lyric …

that contact is made with my Core.

It is in the Freedom found, in these experiences of connection, that my Soul’s private hungers find satisfaction … and my long spiritual droughts are sated.

‘Tis no less true when I read a word or phrase that echoes the cry of my very Being.

The Author or Composer has said what I yearn to express.

This awakens and fulfills the Wholeness of who I am.


I am delighted, beyond words, to, again, be with You, My Dearest Friend and Faithfully patient Reader. By the generous grace, and loving thoughtfulness of my Brother, Steven (who purchased and sent to me the new netbook computer that I now write upon), I can now revisit you and celebrate our sweet bonds.

I, simultaneously, celebrate this ... my 600th posting on my blog. Whoopee!!

I do love You so!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Morning Concert



I return to this tiny bit of reflection ... because I like the way that it makes me feel. Not a complicated formula for deciding ... and one that I smile at the consideration of. This post constitutes the 599th time that I have shared a posting with You, My ever-enduring Friend and Reader. (Next posting will be number 600 ... amazing!)

With the close of this day, I will be leaving the comforts of my Friends' lovely home, and returning to the far-less accommodating elements of my own dwelling place.

Many Folk take a holiday from their usual, and normal environment and go camping. I, in essence, camp all through the year. These past few days have constituted my holiday from the primitive style of my usual circumstances. I have luxuriated in hot running water ... a kitchen with full compliment of appliances for convenient cooking (AND a sink with running water ... RIGHT THERE! Cool!) I have enjoyed the accommodating convenience of a flushing toilet; windows with a wonderful view, in addition to the brilliance of sunlight; and NO traffic noise!! Wow! (My Place is situated on one of the busiest roadways in the county.) AND ... I have had the facility of a working computer. Hence, my communication with You, of late. And, as if all of that were not far more than enough ... my Darling Friends welcomed me to the use of their sweet little Honda Civic (and even left a gift card for gas!) [smile]

Yes indeed! This has been sweet!!

I do not know when I will be able to speak with You again. You can be sure that you will be actively occupying all of those wonderful places that are yours, in my Heart. When I can again access a computer, I will be back to you. Be certain of that! [loving smile]

All that said ... her is that little Bit that I spoke of earlier. I hope that it makes You, Dear One, feel good too.
I love You.

Morning Concert

The tacet eloquence of your eyes,

The gentle melody of your smile,

The tranquil harmonies of your spirit,

Orchestrate to greet me with …

A morning concert of ... YOU.


John-Michael

(29 October 04)
(revised 10 August 2009)


IMAGE: Through the gracious courtesy of Ian Britton, FreeFoto.com

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Awakenings



With considerable regularity, I hear my daughter’s frustrated (and irritated) voice, saying, in memory’s ‘ear,’ “Daaaa-d! Does everything have to mean something?!” Again today, as I watched the movie “Awakenings,” I heard that voice … as I considered the reasons underlying my intense emotional response, to the story, portrayed in the film. And, I know what it is all about.



For, you see, I have lived sixty-three years, in the constant practice of responding to my innate perception of the Inner Being, residing in all with whom I share life’s pathway. I have always had this acute awareness. It has never been an option or election. I just see and hear that Person … though the Individual may not be consciously aware of that Core Person, themselves. So, I find myself in frequent interaction with a “Someone” that may not be seen by or known to most of the world that I live in.

This explains how I genuinely love so many people with whom I have little (or nothing) in common. I simply love the Core that lives within the layers of exterior behaviors, beliefs, and preferences. Whilst watching this movie (that deals with the “awakening” of the inner person that physical malady has imprisoned within a group of hospital patients), I reflected on many of the individuals who I have welcomed into my life. I have preferences and tastes that are dramatically contrary to some of their political, musical, social, religious, culinary, and cultural elections … but none of that matters, in my intimacy, with the inner Being, that I choose to acknowledge … and respectfully (and with loving sincerity) speak to. I may (and often do) find that person to be "not so attractive" in their outer presentation. This matters not. What does, in fact, matter ... is the sense that I have ("Thank you, inner Voice and guiding Spirit") ... that I have an instant of "Welcome," that awaits my response. And I choose to respond in loving respect. And, don't you know, I see and feel an "Awakening" in that life. I do love “Awakening” that too-often neglected Soul. For me, it has been a way of living that is rich in many (though, oft, brief) moments of delight.

So, my Darling Reader, I find my Self answering my daughter’s biting question with a repeat of my original (many years ago) answer … Yes, Sweetheart, everything does, in fact, mean something. And you and I have the daily choice of discovering, and responding to that meaning … or ignoring the underlying meanings of life’s happenings. This is a matter of personal choice … and responsibility.”

And I continue to look fondly forward to my next opportunity to whisper a word, or share a gesture, that will encourage or inspire the awakening of someone’s “Better Angel.” This is the joy of my daily walk. And, just as is so poignantly presented in the wonderful story of Doctor Sayer’s experience … I accept the reality that is in the usual return to the state of unawareness and disconnect that I witness in so many of the lives that I am blessed with an opportunity to touch. Yet, just as is true of this remarkable Physician, I press on in my daily experiments with offering fresh and new injections of love and care into my world.

There! Now you see, with me, why this story touches me so deeply. Now we share in an understanding of that “meaning something” that resides, for my individual Spirit, in this story. I am glad that you have permitted me to share it with You. For (don’t you know) … I love all that is your too-easily un-acknowledged inner Beauty. That lovely … You.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

At Close of Day



I would ... in every instance ... affirm Life. And, in so doing, I reflect on Campbell's admonition to embrace Mortality itself ... which is to accept the fundamental Truth that lies in Mortality not only being the prime condition of life ... but, also, the underlying source of all suffering. To confront Mortality, is to dispense with all of that "hocus pocus" that breeds Fear and Uncertainty. I like living in that realm of mental, spiritual, and emotional Liberty.

I am ... We are ... Mortal. This is the foundation upon which all rests.With acceptance of ... and comfort with ... our mortality, we can, genuinely, begin our unfettered celebration of living. I find great comfort and assurance in this Truth.


(Can you believe that I am yet still in the 'Introduction' to The Power of Myth? All these years, since my first reading of this amazing work ... and I still find myself enchanted with nearly every phrase. Thank You, Patient Reader, for your forgiving company. [smile])

Monday, August 03, 2009

Lookie Who's Here!

Well, Hi there! ... my Darling Friend. [smile] It has been a little while since I have been able to be here with You. As my Precious Lime has been kind enough to let you know, my computer has gone to whatever place in Torment that is reserved for mechanisms that vex and test the character of those who rely on them.

So, Dear One, I speak with You from a physical Place that is some 30 minutes from my home. I am caring for Henry (one BIG baby of a pit-bull dog), and Billy (one devious, lightening quick, and totally cuddleable cat) at the home that they share with my Dear Friends, Dav and Heather (who are away for a couple of weeks ... in Iceland [Dav's homeland].) They graciously invited me to use their fancy-schmancy computer and to enjoy the tranquility of their lovely home whilst they are away. So here (as pictured) I am ... having my morning coffee and allowing the serenity of the view to do its work. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!



If I may, I will be sharing, with You, my journal notes made whilst revisiting the Place of some of my most precious Beginnings ... the words of Joseph Campbell, as recorded by Bill Moyers, in The Power of Myth.

Sunday, 02 Aug 09

You and I ... we all respond to the symphony of Creation ...the undulations of nudging Influences.

Some choose to respond by situating themselves in a comfortable place that affords little jostling or engagement. Perhaps just letting the occasional "tapping" of their "emotional toe" suffices as a means of acknowledging Life's underlying "soundtrack."

Others of us welcome the music of The Intimate, and permit it to be demonstrated through our very Being ... some in ritualized formalities of ordered and structured "ball-room steps" ... elegant and inspiring ... while some lean to the interpretive forms of expression that give free-spirited declaration of their inspirations. And there are (of course) all manner and degree of varieties between and around those extremes.

What is universally unavoidable is ... response. Maybe hardened entrenchment in a marching cadence that unwaveringly dictates each daily decision, direction, and debate. Or, perhaps, some primal and unstructured willingness to follow the lead of The Muse's faint whisperings ... accompanied by the insistent throbbing of a muted "drum." But, in whatever way, and to whatever extreme of perceived "music", each and all of us do make those choices ... we all respond in some way. Life does not permit deafness to its summoning symphony.





Monday, 03 Aug 09

I am, forever, indebted to Joseph Campbell for his redirecting of my Spirit's focus ... from its earlier search for life's meaning ... to its present search for the complete experience of living life.

I never was satisfied with sticking labels of social, religious, or political propriety on containerized pieces of my life. It has always been my desire to know and savour the content and quality of each Moment's experience ... with complete disregard for the labels that those around me would want to affix.

Content ... not Image ... has always been my thirst. When engaging in the presentation of an image, or parading a role, it was always for the purpose of gaining access to that treasured Place of comfort and welcome, that would allow an intimate and meaningful exchange. I discount the playing of a role, and/or presentation of an image, as "dues to be paid" for admission to that sacred place of intimate Being.




Monday, July 27, 2009

Note from Lime

Greetings all,

John-Michael contacted me this evening and asked that I make this post. His current absence from online life is due to a crash of his computer. He was concerned that there may be those who were afraid he was neglecting them or that some serious problem had befallen him personally. He will be back as soon as the stone is rolled away from the tomb in which his poor computer is now interred. In the meantime, he encourages us to watch the southern sky for smoke signals.

If anyone wishes to leave a message for John-Michael, I will see that it reaches him

As a messenger of his love for you all,

Lime

Monday, July 20, 2009

Me (and YOU) ... as an Onion


Many years ago, I was offered the opportunity to research the impression that my clients had of me (as an Individual) through a device known as a “Social Style Profile.” The intent was to provide us (the Brokers and Agents in the financial planning Firm) with insights that would equip us, to better relate to our Clients. I sent a lengthy questionnaire to the six people, who I felt knew me best, and awaited the “profile” results. What ... a ... disaster! I was not disappointed … I was (quite literally) devastated. It took me weeks of agonized reflection to overcome the impact.)


The person that my closest and most intimate acquaintances saw me to be was a JERK. They did not arrive at this "definition." They thought that the Me that they saw was pretty terrific. They were impressed with that image of Me. But that defined Person was all that I detested. I was appalled! And very hurt. This marked the beginning point in my journey of Self discovery and Self realization. I subsequently gained, over the span of much time, a disjointed and jumbled accumulation, of test results and data, that provided more frustration than resolution.

To the rescue; Dr. Edwin O. Timmons of L.S.U. (Louisiana State University.) Now settle back a bit and consider, with me, what Dr. Timmons had to offer. He illustrated this conflict between the ME that I suspected myself to be, and the ME known to others… as an ONION.

That’s right, your garden variety vegetable (or whatever an onion is.) It was his idea that if we were to chart a description of our natural Creator-given traits, and connected the points on that chart with a line, we would have our true inner selves represented, by what he called “our inner Zig-Zag.” (Pretty high-tech stuff, Eh?) Bear with us now, it gets better (I promise.) [smile]

Let’s suppose that when we first make some expression of our little “Zig-Zag” our expression is met (probably by Mommy) with some form of rejection or reproof ... “No!, No! ... mustn’t do that!” We, for the first time in our fledgling experience, modify our behavior to gain acceptance and/or approval. This “layer of behavior” Dr. Timmons referred to as an “Onionskin” of behavior, put in place to protect our ever-sensitive, and fragile, inner Self's “Zig-Zag” of Temperament and Personality.

Over the years of our lives, we develop (through countless Experiences ... with innumerable Persons .... in myriad Circumstances) an infinite number of these layers of behaviors that insulate our inner-selves from any chance of hurt to ourselves, or offense to others, to whom we feel responsible. So what my Friends recognized as ME (in their responses to that Social Style Profile questionnaire) was the carefully accumulated “Onion,” of outer behavior, that I, with the best of intent, had painstakingly surrounded my fragile Self with. This is what they perceived from without.

What the Meyers-Briggs temperament evaluation brought to my awareness was that, previously unidentified, Zig-Zag. The results explained the conflicts that had so-troubled me for so long. This test validated and reinforced the results of the previously taken "16PF" [personality factors] test; grapho-analysis [handwriting analysis] and many other self-examination systems (I have, over the years, accumulated a file of prodigious girth filled with these instruments of evaluation and measurement.) I could then begin the liberating (for me … confusing and bothersome for others) exercise of peeling away my layers of uncomfortable and binding Onionskins. I was free to elect my choice of behavioral “skins” for re-employment (as I deemed appropriate for the purposes of honest presentation of myself ... in forms suitable for the each of my life's settings.)

Think not that this was all accomplished overnight (or over many nights) for, in truth, the finding of the key tools and contributors in my pilgrimage of self-discovery has spanned decades (you are, now, having it all served up on a 'virtual tray’. [smile]) But, my Friend, do not be so silly as to expect a fast-track to painless and/or easy Self-establishment. It is, however, a most rewarding journey for those desiring the option. For, through the loss of Career, the loss of Marriage, the loss of church Affiliation, estrangement from my Children (I just told you that it would not be painless didn’t I?) there evolved the life that I now breath, and touch, and taste … hear and ingest into my spirit ... with every moment of life. And it is GENUINE. My outer “Zigging” is in complete harmony with my inner “Zig” and the same holds true for my “Zag.” My “onionskins” of behavior are translucent and merely magnify the Me at the core. My life is the ME as I am created to BE ... and I am fully accountable for the living of that identity.

I share all of this in the genuine hope that my experience will serve that Individual for whom Life has encouraged me to post it. Whoever You are ... and in whatever circumstance You find yourself ... I send my most tender Love ... and offer all that I am for your encouragement and sustenance. You are welcome through "comment" (at the bottom of this page) or by Email. I am, lovingly, your willing Servant ... and Friend.






IMAGES: Through the gracious courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.com

Saturday, July 18, 2009

World Peace


It is not so large … this World of mine.
Some would deem insignificant in Space and Time.
But it is the World, that I touch …
And is all of the World … to me … as such.

Mine alone is this chance to express,
All that is Kindness, and The Best.
Open, only to me, is this moment to show,
Expressions of Love and Compassion I know.

In this instant of contact, in our shopping …
Or, perhaps on the street, we pass.
My chance to say “I love you”
Only briefly, will last.

So I catch your eye, give you my smile …
Say “Forgive my intrusion, please.”
“I am aware and have noticed a way …
To appreciate You … and give My World … Peace.”

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Making Love to Life

A dear Friend, Ray, an elderly gentleman who I noticed as he walked silently by (week after week… going about his business in a dignified, stately, and private manner), made an impression on my Spirit, with the beauty of his Spirit. “Please forgive my intrusion, My Friend” I said with a hand raised in a ‘please stop’ gesture, “but I am compelled to tell you that your eyes, your comportment, the very countenance of you, all speak together to say that the Man behind all is a man of worthy and noble character. I want you to know that your regular passing of this spot, where I sit, has blessed me, and made my world a better place, for your Presence in it.”


Ray (being a very shy and introverted man) blushed with this extremely out-of –the-ordinary declaration and thanked me. “You are quite welcome” was my simple reply and I immediately returned my attention to the work that was before me, so that he would feel no requirement for further engagement. This “sense it, say it, leave it” (my words…not his) methodology, was gleaned from the teachings of Leo Buscaglia, a Teacher, Lecturer, and Motivator of the mid-to-late 1900’s. The key elements, as taught by him, were to ask (and by the asking make clear your respect for and appreciation of the ‘space’ of the other) for “forgiveness for the intrusion.” Then, after your message has been stated, remove yourself straightway to make clear the absence of any hidden agenda ... thereby giving a complete sense of safety, to the Individual upon whom you have just intruded.


Ray and I, over time, became quite good Friends. And it was on one of our more lengthy visits (which, with Ray, were hardly more than fifteen minutes… [for him constituting something of a marathon of dialog]) that he and I had the following exchange. “John-Michael, I have to tell you that I envy the frequent and varied relationships that you seem to enjoy. I am so shy and retiring that I could never be as open and free with myself as you are. It is clear that you do genuinely love all of these people with whom I see you interacting and they, you, in return. That is something that I must say that I do envy.” “Ray, My Dear Friend," I replied "I make love to all of the world around me every moment of every day. But, Ray, you speak of the glory and warmth of your relationship with your wife, who you clearly adore, and by your comments, make clear, to any observer, the fact that she participates equally in her adoration of you. You go home, after witnessing my daily love-fest with Life, to her ... and immerse yourself in the totality of that love. I go home alone. Ray… I envy you.” We exchanged understanding smiles.


“Making love to Life” is the most accurate portrayal of my living. Intimate engagement in the most compelling of life’s elements … the core of Life (for want of a better term) … is the level at which I sense, acknowledge, and respond to my World. I take no notice of roles or titles for I have played many roles in business, religion, society, and family … and have done so wearing the many varied ‘hats’ appropriate to the roles (and did it all quite well and even to the laudation of each relevant world). And, in the doing, I learned the temporal nature of such things … passing; for the moment; and then to be gone as though never there. But Love, whether revealed in unspoken, distant appreciation or intimate exchange for the briefest, or more prolonged, engagement … is forever.


I am simultaneously saddened, and challenged, by the climate of today’s social, political, religious, and cultural atmosphere. Anger, vehemence, criticism, castigation, condemnation, confrontation, and refusal to respect, appreciate, or even consider the perspective of another, is the comfortably accepted norm. I simply cannot participate in (what I consider to be) this sickness. The twisting of the Soul of a participant is the price-tag for involvement that I would rescue all within my domain from paying. I have chosen to demonstrate the satisfactions, joys, happiness, and comfort of embracing others in the exercise of admiration, recognition, appreciation, adulation, and yes, even love.


This choice of behavior is not without pitfalls. I have found no models after which I may follow. There are, to my knowledge, no systems for the practice of such behavior that would have all potential misunderstandings and miscues worked out. I, therefore, find myself blazing a new trail with all of the elements of risk and even danger befitting such an adventure. But the quest is far and away worth the scrapes and bruises encountered along the way. I can endure the passing looks of skepticism, doubt, uncertainty, and even rejection encountered (thankfully ... with extreme rarity) amongst the more frequent and almost constant smiles of appreciation, satisfaction, enjoyment, and even surprised delight that my behavior evokes. This is “making love to my world” as I am called by the conviction of my Heart to practice it.


(originally penned, 2004)

Please accept my invitation to spend a few moments with some Friends who express my convictions ... in their own, beautiful, way ...

Peace Through Music Film Clip: Playing for Change from Playing For Change on Vimeo.



I do Love You, my Dear Friend ... and thank You for sharing these moments with Me.



IMAGES: Through the gracious courtesy of Ian Britton, FreeFoto.com

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Thoughts of Daddy


I don’t remember ever calling him “Daddy” in my younger, and even ‘middle,’ years. But it was always what my Soul called him. He and I were not comfortable with each other. We were not comfortable with the world around us.


I was his first child … and he repeatedly made it clear that I was an inconvenient intrusion on his honeymoon. The termination of my presence was something looked forward to … and I got the message (loud and clear) that when the time necessary for my raising was exhausted … there was no place for me under his roof. Sitting around his dinner table (after divorce had removed the Element of conflict from between my mother and me) there was some discussion about all of those years between my leaving home, and rekindling contact. Mom wanted some help in understanding (or, better yet … wanted me to suffer through an attempt at justification for) the twenty-plus years that we did not speak. The wedding that I chose to not invite them (any of my immediate family) to; the children who did not know that they had grandparents (on my side) or an aunt, uncles, cousins, and on and on. “How could you live like that without it bothering you?” I was asked.

“It was really quite simple” I replied. “I had lived so many years hearing the house, that I lived in, referred to, by my parents, in phrases like “as long as you live in my house …” that I had no difficulty in understanding that it was not OUR house. I was living, out of a temporary necessity, in YOUR house. So, first … it was never ‘home,’ and secondly … it was, quite clearly, not MY home. When you are raised to understand that you are an unwelcome intruder into someone else’s world … leaving, and then dismissing, that world, is to rid oneself of the burden of being constantly reminded, of your ‘unwelcome alien’ status.” And, at that point, I recall looking around the table … and seeing looks (on all faces present there) that showed the light of an awareness that silently said “Oh! I remember saying those things. Oops! Didn’t know that they would be taken so literally.” And, in Daddy’s eyes … I saw the “oh shit!” look. A well-recognized look of having failed … yet again. That look that, certainly not for the first time in our pilgrimage, gave me cause to feel oh-so-badly for him.

For, you see, Dear Reader Friend, I have always sensed that Daddy wanted to experience a tender and yes, intimate, relationship with me (in fact, with All in his world.) But, alas, he never had a clue how to allow that to happen. Raised by a man who knew only military discipline (my granddad served in the U S Coast Guard [after the dismantling of the Lighthouse Service] as a civilian Keeper of navigational aids in and around the manatee River and outer Tampa Bay. He bore the total responsibility for raising his three sons, after his wife [Daddy’s Mom] passed away, early in their lives.)

There was NO affection, nurturing, tenderness, encouragement, praise, or even remote validation in that home. Only discipline. Orders, and punishment, for orders not perfectly followed. So … poor Daddy … he had all of his feelings, yearnings, desires, and emotions … all stored, pent up, confined, and compartmentalized … and for the first time in his life he had a window of opportunity for releasing them all … and having them eagerly accepted, embraced, and appreciated. He had his wife. Bliss! Then ... he became a father. And the full weight of parenthood landed on his unprepared shoulders. And the only script that he had for that role … was the one given him by his father. And he hated that script. But it was all that he had. Hence, the Conflict, that my presence, visited upon him. And no more, the freedom to explore all of those neglected, suppressed, and denied inner workings of his most passionate and caring Self. Responsibility and duty were, once again, his masters.

( My suspicions of the presence of a complex, of hidden aspects of his inner Self, were confirmed with Mom’s sharing, with me [fairly recently], his letters written whilst they were courting [and he was away in the service of the U S Navy.] She stumbled upon the letters [long forgotten] as she delved into the bowels of ‘The Cedar Chest.’ That vessel of ancient Treasures holding all of her life’s artifacts and mementos. She phoned me, in excitement and with an urgent need to share these resurrected Intimacies. It was with an obvious sense of wonder, and even surprise, that she read Daddy’s words of endearment. He was open, unguarded, romantic, insightful, empathetic, and yes … even poetic, in his messages to the first person who he had ever been able to expose those beautiful aspects, of his inner Self, to. As I listened, I heard (in the background of recollection) a lifetime of Mom’s chiding and belittling remarks about what she deemed to be “the inherited inability of the Brown boys to have any sense of romance, tender affection, or regard for the feelings of, anyone.” I had heard such declarations so frequently, and openly, made, for so many years, that their echo was deafening. And then, here she was … over the phone, reading words that reminded her … and informed me … that my Dad was, in fact, a gentle and caring Romantic. Further confirmation, to my predisposed and sensitized mind, that my birth had confused and discouraged Daddy’s sensibilities and capabilities. No wonder, indeed, that he felt so threatened and resentful of the circumstance of Parenthood interrupting his first chance to live out all that had been denied him before falling in love with Mom.)

Equipped as I am with the Temperament and Nature that is mine, I had been keenly conscious (throughout all of those years of his rigidity and frustrated anger) of an unidentified current that flowed beneath Daddy’s well-rehearsed surface. So, as I said earlier, I knew … but had no definition for … another Being that was him. For many years he and I battled that unspoken, invisible, and troublesome ghost relationship. Prior to my leaving home (at age twenty-one) … and then after our reuniting (at age forty-three) we had both struggled with what we sensed that we wanted to realize … but had no facility for claiming.

And then, Life gave me the Gift of understanding and appreciating the beauties of freed and enjoyed thoughts and feelings. Thankfully, I was (in Daddy’s final few years) able to celebrate telling him that I love him … at my parting, after every visit. And to tell him with the tag of “Daddy.” “I sure do love you Dad,“ I would say. His discomfort and unease lessened noticeably over time. Even more wonderful is the way that he accepted my Heart’s message … embraced it … and learned to share it between us. Unfortunately, I am the only one of his children, in whom he found that sweet Place. But I am so delighted that I was given the lovely opportunity to invest those few years that were required to nurture it into reality, for us.


I tell you, Precious One, these things … so that you can grant yourself (and perhaps some specific Others) some measure of patience and maybe even forgiveness. I give this to you, to offer real and tangible Hope, for what can be … now that you know that good stuff can be born out of yucky stuff. Daddy and I want you to know that. [smile]

I do love You … really!

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