Linger, Tarry, Indulge

I am a horrid Travel Companion. I frustrate and fluster my partners. While they are eager to hurry and see more and more of whatever there is to see, I am compelled to tarry. It is my way. My right-brain dominated senses cannot take in the essence or nature of a setting or sight in fleeting haste. I must dwell in that set of stimuli in order to process it all. Then, and only then, am I able to appreciate, ingest, and celebrate what is offered.
It is so, for me, with every element and aspect of life. I do not recall having ever been totally sated with any indulgence in experiential foreplay. I have an unquenchable desire for the prolonging of every exchange of sensory awakenings. The climax of an experience spells an end to the magic of the arousal. And, be it physical. Intellectual, or ideological, I thrill in the adventure of every aspect of each unique moment.
So, please save yourself the exasperation of my company if you are inclined to hasten toward something beyond the ‘right now.’ I will be lingering with, and savouring, what is. I will be slowly inhaling the aromas and sampling the textures of the smallest and simplest of each note and tone constituting the symphony of this moment.
I do invite You, Dear One, to consider abiding (for just a wee little bit) with me. Know the joys of dwelling in this singular Present, and Place. Grant your Self, sweet repose, in a giddy bit of lollygagging.

[a loving smile]





IMAGE: Through the generous courtesy of Jon Sullivan, PDPhoto.org

Eternity ... Heaven & Hell

Eternity (n.)
Infinite duration, without beginning in the past or end in the future
(Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary [1913])


“Do you believe” I could ask, “in Eternity?” And I have a fair sense of confidence that I would receive an affirmative response from the majority of whomever I offer the question. So, neither beginning nor end … yep! That is how I know it to be myself.

Only makes the most rudimentary of sense that I celebrate this moment, in our shared Eternity, with you. This is our Heaven, if we so elect. Heaven being the Reality of living in the Presense of, and willingly choosing the direction of that loving Creator of all that has ever been … and will ever be. ‘Tis certain that Hell would be opting to live this moment in the elected absence of the influence and care of the “I Am.”

So, my Precious reader, I thank you for your heavenly Presence … here, in our Eternal Moment.

I love You! (Another 'Heavenly choice.") [smile]

Hope

I am well-acquainted with coping ...
hoping, on the other hand, is foreign to my familiarity.

Hence, at this moment in my life-journey ...
with this Alien, Hope,
standing at the threshold of my Tomorrows ...
I am ill-equipped to handle my emotions.

I have no casual or customary repertoire
of mind-set or behaviors to rest in.

This is unexplored terrain for me.

My sleep is sporadic and irregular ...
and my wakening hours are visited with all manner
of jumbled, unordered thoughts.

Yet ... I like it!

Seeing the Blossoms Amongst the Thorns

My thoughts, in March of 07 (when I first posted this bit) were on the confluence of four separate streams of truth, contributed by sources, both of today and many yesterdays. Here is what I said then (illustrated with images of a terribly inhospitable-looking plant which offers (if One notices) heavenly blossoms in the midst of its life-protecting thorns)...

My thoughts today are the confluence of four separate streams of truth contributed by sources both of today and many yesterdays. I am grateful to Life for my conversation with SA wherein I offered something akin to “All you need do is ... BE available ... to the new and desired circumstances that Life will bring to your awareness.” Her response was “And I will not be available if I am busy with the old and undesirable. Right?” And she was, of course, quite right.

Then I was given the gift (recently) of a vehicle-to-vehicle visit (him, on his way to work … me, finishing my newspaper deliveries) with BLY and his offering of “It’s all good … all you have to do is find it.” He then smiled a knowing smile and added “There! That will give you something to ponder.” And I admitted, to him, that I would, indeed, ponder that thought (or, as he added further “That will be a new cud for you to chew.” as he smiled again and drove away toward his work place, and I continued on my newspaper delivery route.) Life was, once again, speaking through the insights and in the inspired voices of special Lives in my world.

By the time that I had finished my delivery duties, I was certain of what I am obliged to offer to you, My Dear Reader, today. Four elements from four sources (two of whom I have already revealed.) The other two are the biblical psalmist, and Dr. Alfred Adler (both of whom I have quoted in previous messages to you.)

Beginning with SA’s “And I will not be available if I am busy with the old and undesirable.” I reflect on those imperatives that demand the attention of our minds, and insist on the focus of our activities, in our daily walk. These imperatives are (for the most part) forces that we are not even conscious of.

They are instilled in, and reinforced in, us by voices (often well-intentioned and genuinely caring) demanding our attention. From our earliest moments of life we have concerned individuals warning us against (what could be) threats to our 'success' in life. Voices of family, peers, significant others of all sorts and description. All insisting that we conform, adhere, and mold ourselves to their perspectives on every element of our lives. For they have the "experience" and know what is "Best" for us. I liken them to the thorns of life. Those aspects, of our daily existence, that warn us of life’s threats and survival demands … but have, as well, their own potential for inflicting emotional, physical, material (and even psychological) harm if not balanced with what BLY referred to as the “all good.” Those traits, idiosyncratic gifts and unique talents that are Life's Gift to our individuality. (And, please note, I do not discount the element of necessity to hearing and respecting these voices … to ignore the “thorns” of life [those potential 'pit-falls' of bad habits and practices] and would be nothing short of foolhardy. Thorns are, by their very nature and design, early warning systems and defense mechanisms necessary to survival. But they are NOT the Mission of the Plant.)

For, My Darling Reader, to internalize the thorns to the exclusion of Blossoms … the “all good” of life … is to create an inner Monster that will cripple and slowly devour us. I cannot count the number of individuals, who I have had opportunity to share life's walk with, who have had themselves damaged, stunted, lamed, and/or (at the very least) hindered by the words and actions of significant others in their lives. Thus triggering their survival responses of focusing solely on the threat of supposed thorns of inadequacy, self-worthlessness, incompetence or other limiting mind-traps. This produces a constant fear of, and attention to avoidance of, these sets of perceived flaws. Thus making their lives a miserable succession of unhappy attempts to overcome self-imposed shackles of Self denial and devaluation. And they, in that state, are not “available” to the beauty and joy of the other presence in their lives. The Presence that has shared their living moments ... unseen and even unsuspected. The Blossoms that are their unrealized Glory. And The Blossom is the purpose of that 'Plant' in Life's 'garden,' that is ... us!

Those blossoms of talents, gifts, abilities, and personality traits that are right there all the while … but have not entered into what Dr. Adler called “our realm of phenomenological awareness.” That is to say … those phenomena that are the always-present “good” do not even exist to our awareness when our focus is locked on the “thorn” which becomes the entirety of our existence. Great is my joy when I can reveal a glimpse of their Bloom to someone who has been languishing without a prior awareness of its presence. When I can awaken and expand the view of One whose vision has been blinded by the thorn-meisters in their life.

So, I must slightly amend BLY’s thought to read, instead, “It’s all good… all you have to do is be available to it.” And … yes, the thorns … the details … the demands … the necessities of life are also good and proper in life’s balance. And therein lies the key … BALANCE. All that we know (and all that we have yet to discover) is created in a wonderful balance and with a glorious purpose. This I am absolutely certain of, Dear Friend.

Thus, I can, once again, present the imperative of the Psalmist; “Be still… and know.” Please stop the repetition of behaviors that leave no opportunity for awareness of the new. Please permit yourself the refreshment of discovery of the “all good” that has always been present … waiting for your acknowledgment and celebration. Those undiscovered or unrealized talents ... your own abilities to 'see' life differently ... and communicate that fresh perspective to your personal world ... those who are hungry for what you ... and only you have to offer. Still yourself … step off of the treadmill of habit, custom, and familiarity … and breathe in a fresh breath of the “all goodness” awaiting your appreciation and embracing. Give your Self the gift of the complete You. BLY is quite right … “It is all good.” SA is quite right … “I will not be available if I am busy with the old and undesirable.” May YOU be available to that better Self ... just waiting within your Person ... for recognition.

NAMASTE

IMAGES through the gracious courtesy of Jon Sullivan, PDPhoto.org

No Wasted Moments

With Life's divine Gift, of each Moment, of every day,

we are given the opportunity ...

for each place and every life that we touch ...

to make that Place or Person ... better.


To fail to do so ...

is to have wasted Life's Gift,

of that Moment.


I am intent on wasting no Moments.

The Magician's Blanket

Wrapped in that Blanket … the one recruited from the sofa that we shared … we became Subjects to the transforming powers of life’s Magician.

Concealed from all the world outside, we transformed into something of wonder and delight that had ne’er before been known.

Two people, who barely knew each others’ names …
we became a Oneness that shared a joyful pulse …
breathed a complimentary breath …

moved from the chill of the winter without … to a perspiration of sensual Tropics that existed only in the cocoon of our newly created world.

We touched … melded … melted into a warm liquid that flowed gently and easily over shores of receptive desires.

There were no Circumstances … no details … neither requirements nor responsibilities constraining our openness to each other.

There … on that sofa … in that little apartment … within the folds of that blanket’s security … we found Home.

All that was known then as Reality, has been blown away and scattered as the sands of the Sahara … no one grain known to any other.

What abides today … and lingers as Genuine … is the indelible Truth of our union.

Known to the rational and fact-encumbered mind, as “passing, fleeting, and momentary”... those moments have a legitimacy and substance that is as fresh now, as it was overwhelmingly present, then.

If only I could have had the presence of mind … the wisdom and maturity yet to come … to tell her that she was forever part of me … and wanted there.

But, alas, the cocoon melted away … the oasis of visited Bliss receded into the distance … circumstance and routine pulled us over inevitable horizons.

And here … today … I find us, and our envelope of satisfying fulfillment, comforting and evermore Precious.

(These are the reflections brought to the fore of my awareness, by a new Friend. My deepest and most sincerely admiring thanks to Her.)

An Afternoon With DaVinci

I didn’t get to enjoy seeing Dav and Heather in Florence, whilst they visited there in ’08 … so I will just ‘pretend’ to do so at the “DaVinci Shop and Café” at the end of the marvelous DaVinci Exhibition, presented at our Museum Of Science and Industry, Wednesday. They are so very cool! [smile]

Can you imagine my delight when Samantha (one of the MOSI Staff Members) asked me to share some philosophies beyond the “If, for the short while that we are in this Place, we don’t leave it better for our having been here … we will have wasted our time. And you, Dear One, have wasted nothing.” That I wrote on the back of one of my calling cards, and left for her on the table where she was demonstrating and explaining some of the wonders of optical innovations experienced by DaVinci.

So, I happily explained that I live in accordance with the personal imperative that states “Never leave any person or circumstance offered by Life, with the potential for a “Wish-I’d-A.” That is … the inner thought that says “I Wish-I’d-A expressed to that stranger how they touched my Heart as we passed.” or “I wish-I’d-a demonstrated the feelings of my heart to that individual whose presence moved me just now.” “So,” I explained to Samantha, “I clumsily, awkwardly, and sometimes haltingly (for I have had no teacher, guide, or mentor to demonstrate or instruct me in examples of practicing this business of reaching out to passing strangers in my world) verbalize my emotions … or demonstrate my convictions … thereby avoiding the possibility of ever having to reflect on the regretful awareness that comes with belated ‘wish-I’d-a’s”

She had to wonder “Just what kind of strange Person is this man who invites me to visit his Blog … and invites me to inform him of my progress in following my life’s dream?”

She doesn’t know that I spared her the added discomfort of having to deal with the “I love you Samantha” that was living just beneath the surface of my Being. That, I knew, would have been too much for her to process at our first encounter. [smile]

So, my Dear Reader, there you have a quick glimpse into an afternoon in the life of your John-Michael. (Who, because he knows that you know him well enough to accept and embrace this Truth from him, feels no hesitation to remind you …
“I love You!”) [tender smile]

(Thank You Dav, for the wonderful Photos!)

Under the "Take a Moment Tree"

Today, I am drawn to the subject, yet again. So, come … please join me, here, under the “Take a Moment Tree” … and I will share with You, Dear Reader, what this matter of “Accountability” means to me.

I am accountable to Life for the answer to THE big question ... namely, “How good a job did you do, and/or are you doing, at BEing John-Michael?" Not, “What titles did you hold?” nor "What roles did you play?” nor "What offices did you fill?" No question of "How much?" of anything, will determine the success of my short while on this earth. Just "How did you respond to, and use, that unique Treasure (including its particular set of gifts) that is the individual Design, by which you were lovingly created?”

That is the scale upon which I am weighed, day by day, and through eternity. So I am compelled to respond, without reservation, to each opportunity served to me each day in the knowledge that all things are under the control of the Creator of it all. And each, of those opportunities, has a purpose. I do not want to disappoint my Self ... deprive that Person... or lessen the value of that experience, by withholding any part of Me, from each moment.

For example, there was the occasion when I pulled over to the curb and exchanged salutations with the lady who was walking her dog in the early-morning, before-preparation-for-work, pre-dawn stillness. (This is the time that folks are accustomed to seeing the newspaper delivery guy [me] who had [at the time of this happening] been there every day for the prior fifteen years.) We shared comments about now-forgotten things, and then (in response to the urging of my "Still, Small, Inner Voice") I said something like "Please forgive my intrusion, but I detect, in your tone, an obvious lack of enthusiasm for the job that you plan to engage yourself in today."

This is the moment when Life rewards my courage with an affirmation that I have ventured onto "prepared soil". The lady began to unreservedly reveal her unhappiness with both of the jobs that she felt herself trapped into. Like so many today, her economic requirements necessitated her working more than one job and, like many, if not most, she found no satisfaction in either of hers.

I then revealed to her the possibilities available through career counseling and gave her some examples of successes that I have known personally. I explained the functions of some of the testing tools available, to assist in evaluating one’s preferences, proclivities, talents, and individually innate inclinations … and illustrated the ways in which the test results can be translated into a satisfying and even enjoyable career.

Some months later, in response to my passing wave, she stopped me and told me that she had decided to follow through on researching options for herself. Still many months later, I saw a "U-Haul" trailer in the street with several people engaged in the never-enviable task of moving-day labor. To my surprise, the lady flagged me down (I didn’t even know that she lived there) and announced "I took your advice. As a result of the testing and counseling that I pursued, I am (as you can plainly see) moving to a new location to begin a new career that is the fulfillment of my dreams. Thank you for your advice. You gave me encouragement, hope, and a plan"

I went my way and she hers without even knowing each other's names. All that matters is that I gave Life an opportunity to let that young lady know that there was a waiting and ready potential for something special for her life. And all that was required of me was the willingness to allow Life to use the experience and knowledge acquired over my personal life-walk, and offer it to this person who was both ready for it, and receptive to it. Her life was transformed ... and I am forever blessed.

So, you see, My Dear Friend, willingness, availability, and receptiveness are the only requirements for us to be of immediate and tangible service to that world that is all around each of us ... moment by moment, through each day that is given to us. And in participating in these opportunities, we can make our world a bit better ... person by person ... experience by experience ... you and I … living in loving sensitivity, to our own personal world, can change life for the better.

I invite you to be bold, open, and alive in the moments of your life. And, as we look into each of our personal, intimate, and private "mirrors" of reflection, we can know that we have responded appropriately to those gifts presented to us by Life. In those fleeting opportunities that were given to us ... that we responded to Life’s summons to Be that unique individual that was needed in that fleeting moment. And that we embraced our personal calling for or own Accountability ... to ourselves ... to that other Soul ... and to Life.

Please trust me ... it’s great fun!


IMAGE: Through the gracious courtesy of Ian Britton, FreeFoto.com

How Real?

There is always the remote chance that someone reading my thoughts, or engaging me in a bit of a chat, focused on our responsibility to the Moment, will question "How Real" my actual practice of what I profess, might be.

I am sharing today's living demonstration of just such a happening. (Mind you ... I would never offer my personal response as any sort of 'standard' ... only my own individual choice of "Muse satisfaction." [smile])

'Twas upon seeing a very familiar name on a list of fellow graduates from my high School. Good ol' reliable Muse whispered her conspiratorial "Lest she never know!" And I clicked on the "Send Email" icon.

The message speaks for itself ...

Hi [name withheld],

It has taken these many years ... and Life 'nudging' me through Mom's reminding me of the instance (she was always very fond of you,[and knows how much I cared about you]) ... for me to muster the courage to confess what caused me to allow our budding relationship to wither.

Please know that I was totally enchanted with you. And on that night (that you have probably completely forgotten by now) when I was taking you home in our family car, I stopped and told you hurriedly that I had to "check on the strange noise coming from the rear of the car." What I did not then ... and it has taken 'til now to ... have the courage to tell you, was that I had an undiagnosed problem with my bladder. I, in fact, had to frantically get out of the car and hide behind the open trunk, to deal with the fact that my bladder had failed me. Yep! I wet myself. Hence, when I got you home, I could not get out of the car and walk you to the door. My pants were wet. (Believe me, this is still painful to recall.) I was humiliated beyond words.

When I heard later that you Dad forbade you to see me again because of my demonstration of poor manners and disrespect, I was despondent. But it was too much for me to speak of. Even after the doctor diagnosed what he called "spastic colon", and remedied the temporary condition with some pills, I could not overcome my humiliation, and sorrow, to tell you how devastated I was at the loss of whatever our relationship may have held the promise of being (and have revisited that loss with remorse many times since.) I was truly in love with you. There! At long last, I have told you.

I have lived, for a long time, with the guiding life-navigating star of "if it holds the possibility of ever being an 'I wish I had' ... do not let the moment pass without doing or saying whatever holds that potential." If I had not let you know the truth about that miserable night ... it would forever remain an "I wish I had."

I truly hope that this strange and unusual note finds you basking in the fullest of this Christmas Season's joy and happiness. I remain, forever, your admiring Friend and Servant,

John-Michael

There ... now You, Dear Reader, know that I do (even in the most awkward and challenging of circumstance) honor my Spirit's claim on me. As bizarre and odd as this example may seem, (and I know that you cringed [with me] as you read it) I cannot deny Life's claim on me. Responsibility to the demand of the Gift of each moment is what drives me on. And I promise You that it is a joyfully satisfying and fulfilling path to follow.

Just listen ... then trust the result or response to the omniscient power of Life's unfailing Love. It NEVER blunders.

I love You.

Tarry a While

I am a horrid Travel Companion. I frustrate and fluster my partners. While they are eager to hurry and see more and more of whatever there is to see, I am compelled to tarry. It is my way. My right-brain dominated senses cannot take in the essence or nature of a setting or sight in fleeting haste. I must dwell in that set of stimuli in order to process it all. Then, and only then, am I able to appreciate, ingest, and celebrate what is offered.

It is so, for me, with every element and aspect of life. I do not recall having ever been totally sated with any indulgence in experiential foreplay. I have an unquenchable desire for the prolonging of every exchange of sensory awakenings. The climax of an experience spells an end to the magic of the arousal. And, be it physical. Intellectual, or ideological, I thrill in the adventure of every aspect of each unique moment.

So, please save yourself the exasperation of my company if you are inclined to hasten toward something beyond the ‘right now.’ I will be lingering with, and savouring, what is. I will be slowly inhaling the aromas and sampling the textures of the smallest and simplest of each note and tone constituting the symphony of this moment.

I do invite You, Dear One, to consider abiding (for just a wee little bit) with me. Know the joys of dwelling in this singular Present, and Place. Grant your Self, sweet repose, in a giddy bit of lollygagging.

[a loving smile]





IMAGE: Through the generous courtesy of Jon Sullivan, PDPhoto.org

Here ... There

So inviting
is the Next;
the Beyond;
Ahead.

"Patience." whispers Now.

"Know the Present;

this Moment;

what Is."

John-Michael
30 November 2009 (now)

Original Image: Ivor Bond, BBC

Sunday Afternoon

I invite You to join me in a moment of Sunday afternoon tranquility. From the Cottage ... across the highway, to the Lake.

Ahhh ... this is good!

We'll share the dock with the Bird as he dries his wings. [smile]

World Peace

It is not so large … this World of mine.
Some would deem insignificant in Space and Time.
But it is the World, that I touch …
And is all of the World … to me … as such.

Mine alone is this chance to express,
All that is Kindness, and The Best.
Open, only to me, is this moment to show,
Expressions of Love and Compassion I know.

In this instant of contact, in our shopping …
Or, perhaps on the street, we pass.
My chance to say “I love you”
Only briefly, will last.

So I catch your eye, give you my smile …
Say “Forgive my intrusion, please.”
“I am aware and have noticed a way …
To appreciate You … and give My World … Peace.”

The Cost

It was Christmas Eve … the one and only night that I was assured that my children and I would have together … for the whole night. I live in one small room … so pallets made of foam pads and folded blankets made their bedding on the floor. They were tucked in and ready for sleep … and there was a knock on the door. A beautiful woman stood there … with a familiar and loved smile.

She was my first high-school Love. We had not seen each other since just after high school. I had, in the interim, married (for twenty years), had two children, a career, and a divorce. I knew that she had won the Miss Tampa beauty pageant … but past that I only knew what I did of her travels, college degrees, published books, and practice in clinical psychology, from the updates that were shared with me by her sister … when we bumped into each other at the market. And here she stood … on Christmas eve … smiling.

She asked my children (after the introductions), if she could borrow me ... for a cup of coffee. They shyly agreed. And she and I went to a convenient, twenty-four-hour breakfast place, for coffee.

After exchanges of many years’ of accumulated details and facts, she understood (what I could relate) the statistics of my story … and I filled in the blanks of hers. And I knew that she had a particularly aggressive form of breast cancer … that terrified her. So our conversation flowed into our developed philosophies and understandings. She asked me a question that caused a moment’s pause. “What did it cost you … when you shifted your life’s focus from all of life’s “Doings,” to “Being” alive?” Such a magnificent question!

Though I knew what she was considering ... the Marriage, Career, prominence in the Community, Church Role, etc. ... my Heart knew the answer. “It cost me nothing. Not a thing!” I replied. “For, don’t you see, “I,” was not present in all of those years of doing all of the stuff that was expected, required, and demanded by all of my life’s environment. I … was not functioning as an Individual then. There was no "Me" in all of that. Simply, that Person ... performing all of those Roles. All of the “lights” were on … but nobody was at home. I was a “non-person” fulfilling all of the requirements scripted out for me by circumstances and Others. Hence, there was no cost to Me, when I realized the importance of becoming a Human-Being … as opposed to existing as a Human-Doing. For, I had not existed.” She slowly nodded in quiet understanding and agreement.

We returned to my place. She went her way. We exchanged a couple of phone calls … her on the West coast; me here, in Florida. We wrote … only once, each. The letters were unfortunate exchanges of misunderstandings. And I never heard from her again.

But I will forever remember her question. “What did it cost …?” And I consider that question now … once again. For, My Dear Reader, there is, indeed, an ever-present Reality in living. Nothing is free. There is always a cost/reward relationship to every choice that we make. My living as a “Doer,” was at the unwitting expense of Self. I had never developed my ultimate responsibility … my Self. I, ignorantly and blindly, substituted activity and performance for personal growth and responsibility. I had energetically charged into life’s fray with the battle cry of “Do something great,” and “Make some-Thing of yourself” ringing in my ears. I heard no voice crying, “Make some-One of your Self … and only then, apply that developed Self, to the fulfillment of your Soul’s bliss.” It was not ’til many decades into living, that I became aware of that Voice.

So, today, I ask You, Dear One, “What are the costs in your life? What have you invested your Self in?” You are not answerable to me … or, in fact, to anyone else in this life. You, just as I, are ultimately, answerable only to that private and sacred inner You … and Eternity.

Contemplations on Rhossili Bay

I am, at once, set free and embraced …
Invigorated with Breath from afar,
and gentle Pulse, so near.

Knowing peaceful Solitude in the absence
of Any, requiring response or engagement …
Whilst accompanied by Hosts ...
content to share infinite Accommodations.

I am visited by unassuming Voices,
of present Thought, and distant Reflection …
Neither demanding priority, nor rank …
Both content to simply dwell.

Ne’er can be any doubt of Eternity’s presence …
Nor this Moment’s eternity.

John-Michael

31 March 2009

IMAGE: Jonathan Simminds (viewer), BBC

Someday ... Not Now

Someday, You will be listening elsewhere,
Your attention on some other voice.
But, for now, I enjoy your attention,
My Words and Message … your choice.

Someday will find you refocused,
On new Vistas, Horizons not now known.
But, for now, I enjoy your attention,
My Heart, my Desires can be shown.

Someday, you will go over yonder,
Discovering and exploring new Worlds.
But, for now I enjoy your attention,
A tapestry, of Possibilities, unfurled.

Someday, you will forget what I’ve told you,
Circumstance diluting what we share.
But, for now, I enjoy your attention,
Delighting, in this chance, to show Care.

Someday you may ask, “Who has loved Me?” …
In a moment of Loneliness or Fear.
But, for now, I enjoy your attention,
Repeating, again, “I love You” … happy that you are still near.

John-Michael
15 March 2009