Monday, March 19, 2007

Daring to Talk About... Love

If you want to really scare someone… talk about love. People become instantly insecure, uncomfortable, awkward, inarticulate, stammering idiots when confronted with this little word that packs the punch of a nuclear warhead. While we can cope with the threat of all sorts of natural and/or man-devised ills, we find ourselves rendered helpless and terrorized with the presence of this ‘little’ concept. “You can curse me, threaten me, abuse me, belittle, ignore, and bring all sorts of hazards against me… but PLEASE don’t tell me that you love me. I just can’t handle that.” Or so it seems the world is saying.

And I, as those of you who know me well know all too well, bring, as a matter of natural course, this destabilizing force with me as a part of my chosen daily life manner.
I not only permit myself to love; I express that affection to whomever gives rise to the feeling. Why? Because I am convinced that this world that we share can only be made more pleasant, more enjoyable, more comfortable if we make love a customary companion to our daily considerations. Not, as its more readily known status, as alien… but as our comfortably welcomed norm.

But (there’s always a ‘but’, isn’t there?) you had better mean it when you say it. That’s right… there is no ‘faking it.’ I know when I am responding honestly to an impulse to love. And you can easily detect an insincere expression of affection more readily than any other form of subterfuge from me or any other. It takes a certain kind of courage to overcome the natural instinct to avoid the vulnerability that expressing yourself brings… and disingenuousness is too much to add to the burden of open candor.

So be honest, respect the personhood of the one to whom you are ready to reveal yourself, and say it (whatever ‘it’ is.) And a little, but critical note… listen to the guidance of your “still small inner voice.” If that inner voice says “Not this time”… cool it! Otherwise… act! Remember, Dear Friend, that this is not a dress rehearsal for life… this is, in fact, our singular opportunity to capitalize on the moments given to us… or lose them. “I wish that I had…” is a sad refrain to reflect back on. Far better, in this old man’s estimation, to look back and say “I gave that person the gift of my true feelings… not contingent on any expectation or requirement… but as a free gift from my heart.” And face the next day’s offerings without regrets for opportunities lost.

So, My Dear Friend, I hope that this little note will serve to dispel any trepidations that you have experienced when I have offered my love to you. I am not stalking,
perseverating, or plotting some outlandish agenda with you as my target of focus. I am merely enjoying the happiness of the love that you have engendered in my heart for you. So, please chill out, kick back, relax, and celebrate, with me, this gift of love that Life has made available to us. With a little practice, I can promise you that you will find the atmosphere of love a delightful one to live in.

Trust me… it’s fun... feels good... and improves the atmosphere!

(originally penned: 24July2005)

IMAGES through the gracious courtesy of Ian Britton,


Sharon said...

Love is a wonderful gift.

John-Michael said...

Though I cannot recall the author, I appreciate the thought in "Love may not make the world go around... but it sure makes the ride far more enjoyable."

Denise said...

This is so true.... i realised how little i told people apart from my immediate family how much they meant to me.... When my husband left i realised that without the support from friends and family the trauma i felt would have been more unbearable... since this time i have often told friends how i feel about them.... how great they are etc... many at first found it embarrassing as a 'recipient' but were able to be a 'giver'... however the freer i am the more they are improving... i just love people and think simple words of caring and kindness can enhance their day...if you are thinking it then say it... blessings and love to everyone ... Dx

John-Michael said...

If I were capable of illustrating a monumental smile of appreciation... you would now see it here...

Thank you Denise.

ejluvtolaugh said...

And with this... all I can say humbly is.... Amen! No other way to live.

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