Another Scoop of Rum-Raisin Ice-Cream

I do not like Rum-raisin Ice-cream!

There, I’ve said it.

There is nothing more to say on the matter (yet you and I know that there will, most assuredly, be more said.)

You see, Dear Friend, I do not begrudge anyone else their preference for Rum-raisin Ice-cream. I hold no grudge against that flavor. There resides no bitterness in my soul toward the combination of elements that constitute that particular blend. I would never counsel anyone to disallow themselves the opportunity to sample that product nor would I undertake to undermine that dessert’s place in the universe of food products.

It is, quite simply, a fact that my own, personal, individual, particularly unique taste buds do not enjoy Rum-raisin Ice-cream. And that is perfectly all right, for there are myriad other choices offering themselves for my delight.

Yet... when my Friend, of many years, informed me that she is hesitant to allow herself to openly and publicly be my friend because of her children’s reservations about me, I was disappointed. My big old twenty stone (sounds so much better than the equivalent in pounds) of feelings got themselves hurt. Why? Because... (here is where I identify with Rum-Raisin Ice Cream)... I am who I am. She doesn’t understand why I can’t mitigate myself to accommodate the sensitivities of her children. “Aren’t you denying them the opportunity to know you by insisting on Being you?” she asked. “Why can’t you soften up your presentation of yourself?” “They think that you are being ‘phony’ because you come on so strong.”

“But who will they know if I present another image to them?” I queried. “Will the presentation of a ‘moderated’ me be an honest portrayal?” Yet my friend persisted in the idea that we must ‘respect’ other people’s ‘space’ by adopting behavior that accommodates their sensitivities.

I lived the first four decades of my life in the daily practice of ‘accommodation.’ I was never relaxed. Every encounter was a ‘performance’ for the benefit of, and to gain the acceptance of my ‘audience.’ Consequently, no one (including myself) knew me. I had no intimate relationships. There existed no place where I could go to, firstly, know who I was and, secondly, to be that person in comfort. The accepted social norm was that this was (and is) proper. I reject that norm (for myself.) I also embrace the consequences resulting from that rejection. One of those consequences is the reality that I will be (and am) sometimes rejected as a person. That too is absolutely OK. For my Dear Reader, Rum-raisin Ice-cream is not for everyone. But it is there for the individuals who have a preference for it. And the Friendships that I now enjoy I enjoy without reservation, in all of the intimate, passionate, and exuberant freedom that is ME.

Thank God for selections to choose from (for they (we) are, after all, His creations.)

And I am John-Michael [and… Who are you?]
(Original journal entry: Thursday, 29 July 2004)


IMAGE Through the gracious courtesy of Ian Britton, FreeFoto.com