My "Wish-I-Had" Rule

After far too many years of looking back at the moments passed with regrets and frustrations resulting from opportunities lost, I initiated what I have dubbed my “wish-I-had” test.
I remember, quite clearly, the moment and even the location where I confronted myself with the declaration “If it has the potential to be an ‘I wish I had done or said that when I thought of it and/or had the opportunity to’ then I am going to act on it right now and avoid the creation of another potential "WISH-I-HAD.” This self-commitment was in direct response to the prodding of my Spirit-induced inner voice to tell a gentleman in my life how much he meant to me while I had the opportunity. He was the interim minister in my church and a very imposing figure. I was, at that time, not at all comfortable with such open statements of my feelings and the prospect was very daunting. But even more daunting was the prospect that he could pass from my life without ever knowing how much he had touched me. That potential “wish-I-had” was not acceptable; so on that day, at that moment, I made a life altering change in course and began what has now become my very nature… to tell every person with whom I have even a brief passing contact, how they have effected me.
I will get up from my table in a restaurant, and go over to another table… address the gentleman there “Please forgive my intrusion, my friend, but I simply must tell you what a beautiful family you are blessed with.” Then I immediately turn and return to my table so that he feels no obligation to respond. Why would I do such a thing? Because I have seen that the man has that far-away look in his eyes telling of the burden of life on him and he is missing the blessing of that moment with his family. I know that I can give him a free gift of the moment if I am only willing to be the messenger. And I will not say, to myself, later “I ‘wish-I-had’ encouraged that man when I felt the inner-urging to."
“Please forgive my intrusion, my friend, but I am compelled to tell you that the kind and caring spirit that is clearly revealed in your eyes, has touched and blessed me.” And it was with this statement that I first met, and have since become friends with, a wonderful gentleman at my neighborhood YMCA who had truly touched me with his gracious presence. Always at the direction of my constant companion… that inner voice, I now have become quite comfortable to speak. And I have had none of those unhappy "I wish that I had..." moments for many years now.


IMAGE: Through the gracious courtesy of Ivor Bond, BBC