Common Denominator

Today began as a sparklingly fresh offering. Last night’s heavy rains had given the world a cleansing that, when combined with the clear sky and nearly full moon, made the chorus of all of the birds greeting the day even grander. A brief visit with a friend as my newspaper delivery path and his trash-to-the-curb path intersected, reminded me of the similar visits shared with a friend now moved to another area. The conversations shared with (we will call him Bill) were extraordinary moments of spiritual and intellectual intimacy that I miss sorely. One of our significant discussions centered around the idea of Be-ing (yes… this is a part of my vocabulary even in the pre-dawn hours while attending to my daily task.)

Bill made this statement “In my work as a registered nurse, I have had occasion, countless times, to observe men in their “last days.” And until you and I began discussing this BE-ing thing, I didn’t have a context to put a common behavior shared by almost all of these men in their decline. They are all removed from their social roles, their career roles, their family roles, and their civic and religious roles and placed in an environment of commonality with every other man in the hospital. Thinking about it now… here… removed from the demands and distractions of the hospital setting… I can see something that I had never thought of. They have all been brought to a state wherein they have nothing more in their life to be other than to simply, just… Be. My present awareness of this consideration of “Be”ing gives a definition to the sense of anxious, frustrated, even near-panicky behavior in these men that I did not understand before. They were all brought to a point, by Life, where they could no longer “Do” and could only “Be” and they had no prior experience in simply Be-ing who they are. So they were having their first confrontation with being themselves… and there was no “Self” there… just a collection of titles, roles, positions, and labels that were meaningless at that point.”

(Yes, My Dear Reader, these are the kinds of thoughts and reflections that just may be occupying the mind of that strange person hurling newspapers through the window of that vehicle crawling through your neighborhood each morning. Unnerving isn’t it? )

But, back to the point. This business of “Be”ing. Why so important? I can offer a glib (albeit accurate) answer. It is important because no one else can Be you. There! You are the only You ever created, and if you do not take the responsibility to be You… You will never Be. It is important because, while you may Do much to fill many posts, bear many titles, answer to many role demands and respond to the tugging of many family ties, you will never Be anyone other than… You. And (as “they” say) at the “end of the day”, you, My Dear You, are going to hold yourself… and eternity will hold you... accountable for the quality of the job that you did in representing… You.

There was a point, in my somewhat distant past, at which I was frequently plagued with feelings of frustration, self-condemnation, anger, and even despair at the mounting accumulation of what I saw as failures in my life. Then, I was blessed with a challenge that required me to be far more of a Me than I could have ever imagined myself capable of being. I was given a son who is handicapped. And I knew that his best chance to be all that he could possibly be… was to have a dad who was all that he could possibly be. And I was elected! So I began to frantically and with an astronomical sense of urgency (because he [my son] was HERE and I was not yet ready to be Super Dad.)

Now, as you can imagine, I devoured all sorts of books, tapes, lectures, psychological tests and evaluations (to help in defining just who the hell this Me guy is), and counseling (to help in implementing what I was learning.) And, in the midst of all of these efforts, Life reached out with some simple and easy summations, into which I could plug the vast amounts of input, thereby permitting a comfortable adaptation to newly discovered insights. And Pogo was a notable one of those. Yes! You heard correctly. Pogo, the cartoon character. For it was in one of those cartoon strips that I saw Pogo, standing at the bow of his pirogue, one foot up and one hand inserted in his jacket in a Napoleonic pose. And the caption read “We have met the enemy… and de is us!” Read that again. “We have met the enemy… and de is us!” Listen to what that told us… you and me. It said (to my receptive and waiting spirit) “You, John-Michael, are the common denominator to all of your life’s past, present, and future accomplishments, frustrations, and mishaps. (I have already learned that failure can only be determined at the end of the race… and I don’t hear any nails being hammered into my box quite yet.) So be the best You that you can possibly be!” That was the message derived from the application of Pogo’s message.

So, Dear Reader, two things today… recognize and accept your responsibility in your position as the “common denominator” of everything in your life… and BE the very best You that you can enjoy being. You have a resource that I did not have in your quest. An ally… that is my pledge to you… I will provide everything in my power to encourage, reinforce, edify, and support you.

And, in those moments when DO-ing is no longer an option… you and I can smile together in the shared awareness that we gave BE-ing “us” our very best shot.