Friday, April 17, 2009

Life's Tears


I return, today, to a thought shared three years ago, and, again, early last year. For, this afternoon, I sense (after some phone calls, this week, fraught with fears and sorrows) a ready and wanting Soul looking and listening for what lies in this reflection.


“Dad …Why do you always cry? You cry when you are happy and you cry when you are sad. Why?”

I knew that this was one of those rare moments when my concrete-thinking daughter was open to an insight that could have long-lasting consequences in the development of her ability to relate to her feelings. I had best be brief, succinct, and accurate. “Please God” I silently prayed.

“I cry because I allow myself to feel … and tears are an important part of the feeling system. You see, Sweetheart, we were created with our hearts capable of feeling both joy and sadness. But our hearts can’t contain too much of either. So … we have a safety system that keeps our hearts from breaking if we feel too much of either sadness or joy. The extra comes out as tears. They can be happy tears or sad tears. But they both come out so that our hearts don’t have too much of either to hold. Because I permit myself to feel a lot … I have a lot of extra.”

Those with whom I have shared the first part of my emerging book 'Why I Am Here and You Are There', will know that I live my life in response to the leading of “The Master Gardener” as my “still, small” inner voice speaks to my heart. Today I awoke with the recollection of the dialog (with my daughter) that I just shared with you and an acute sense that there is someone, some “plant” in the “Master Gardener’s” care that is in need of the nurturing benefit of this little message of encouragement. In my capacity of “Minister of Manure” I am compelled, by previous commitment to the Master, to spread some of the “compost” of my past experience where preparation has been made and a receptive Heart is readied. So, My Friend, whoever and wherever you are, here is the answer to your petition.

Go ahead … it is OK … allow yourself to feel … to embrace … to experience … to savor life as it is being presented to you at this very moment. Your heart will not break … tears will protect it from the hazard of too much (and the garden all around you will benefit from the watering of the excess of your courageous participation in the adventure at hand.) Live life … all of it … saving it is not an option. Invest YOURSELF in living. And if tears are the result … let All (your children, your family, your friends) know that the tears are from a heart overflowing with the excess of living life.

18 comments:

lime said...

what a wonderful way to explain it to a child. and thank you for sharing it with the rest of us too. i have to say i've tried to cultivate a safe place for the people around me to shed their extra because it's hard to let them fall when it doesn't feel safe to do so.

John-Michael said...

We assume a posture of vulnerability and openness when we allow our emotions to be known. Trusting those around us with that personal vulnerability is an act of courage and confidence. I can promise that those for whom You, My Dear Lime, provide that trust-worthy Place ... will blossom as more confident and self-aware Individuals, out of the experience.

Loving all of Who You are ...

willow said...

Dearest Mr. Manure,

Thank you so much for your peaceful words of encouragement. They mean more today than you know, dear friend.

Hugs and a kiss, Willow

nitebyrd said...

A brilliant explanation, J-M! Absolutely, brilliant! My hope is that the joyful tears are always more than the tears of sadness.

John-Michael said...

I am pleased and complimented to know that I am able to bring You, Darling Willow, some measure of encouragement and comfort. To make a moment in your life more comfortable or at ease is a fulfillment of my Heart's affections for You. Thank You, Dear One, for letting me know.

Lovingly ...

John-Michael said...

I would whisk away every hint of sorrowful tears ... and direct torrents of joyful exuberance toward You, Precious NiteByrd. This is my Heart's desire for You, My Dear Friend.

Lovingly ...

citizen of the world said...

I always figure we have tear ducts for a reason and crying can be healing. But oh my, it can also leave you exhausted.

John-Michael said...

If not "exhausted," might it be that crying leaves us freed of those energies and powers stimulated by stresses, and unresolved conflicts? With all of that detritus of gnawing and swirling discord, drained away in a good cleansing tsunami of tears ... could it not be just as likely that the purging, brought by those tears, has taken us to a place of comfortable stillness, My Very Dear Citizen of the World? And, perhaps, that exhaustion could be accepted and appreciated as peaceful, uncluttered Rest.

I hope that You can sense the joy that I find in sharing such considerations with You. These moments enveloped in loving appreciation, of Who You are revealing your Self to be, are a beautiful Gift to me. Thank You!

Lovingly ...

Annette said...

I love how you explained it, I cry so easy, then there are those times when I don't cry and I'm thinking I should be, and in all reality I should, even as a child I would cry very easy. Just the other day at work, I work in a hospital, and a patient I've grown to love and cherish so very much, wasn't going to be here in this bodily world much longer, and I had to go to the stair well and sit and just cry for her, for I knew I would miss her immensely, and I do! crying is a wonderful thing! When reading your post, I felt my eyes start to tear up. Comming by to visit is so calming, Thank you for another great heart felt post, your the greatest!
Hugs~
Annette

John-Michael said...

What I appreciate and admire most, in You, Dear Annette, is your very-real willingness to feel. You continually bless and please me with your unfettered expression of emotion. I thank you for that sweet Gift!

I love You ...

Calli said...

Oh, John-Michael this is a stunning post. Your thoughts, your advise to the forlorn, to a child, to a child-within, it's just so perfect!

I also get so much from your responses to others comments

"We assume a posture of vulnerability and openness when we allow our emotions to be known."

Well said, my friend, that's the Truth!


Such beauty here!

~Calli

John-Michael said...

Dear, Dear Calli ... your thoughtful, and Soulful reflections have arrived, as I am caught up in a phone conversation, with One who is struggling, with Life conflicts and turmoil. Hence, I am particularly sensitive to the workings of the Heart and Spirit right now. (As you can tell from the link that I Emailed to you. [smile])

I am genuinely grateful for your beautiful Presence in my World and my Life. You enrichen and make fuller the Experience of this Moment.

Lovingly ...

Jun Bullan said...

Hello, thanks for your inspiring blog. Indeed, the internet is unique world of its own - people reaching out to people even when they have not personally met. Bless you...

John-Michael said...

Your wish, Jun, My new Friend, is self-fulfilling. For, don't you see, to have You offering me a Blessing ... is to have a caring Heart in this World concerned for my betterment. This happening, in itself, is that Blessing fulfilled. And, I am grateful for this Gift from You, My Dear Sir.

Lovingly ...

morrow said...

This is so beautiful and well said. Your daughter is lucky to have such a Dad.

I agree so much with what you have written but to me for some reason it is so hard to do.

Thank you for sharing these thoughts.

John-Michael said...

OK ... Morrow ... my Precious One. I read your comment five hours ago. Your "I agree so much with what you have written but to me for some reason it is so hard to do." touched me profoundly!

I heard ... I mean REALLY heard ... your Spirit's cry. And, for five hours, I have listened to that 'still, small voice within me. That Voice that I allow to guide my life ... and my living of life. And that Voice has whispered a quietly intense message to my Being.

Please know that I say nothing ... ever ... that has no meaning or significance. (Even my silliest silliness is founded in some Truth or meaning.) For, you see, I have an intense appreciation for and sense of urgency about every aspect and element of life. So what I say here is as honest and genuine as anything you will ever hear.

So, here's the deal. I am yours, to encourage ... to provide a safe and secure Place in which to entrust whatever you do not feel safe in setting free. This is important to me. It is what my life is about. It is why I write what I do here. To be whatever is needed by whomever needs it. This is my calling. All you need do is drop me an Email to: justbnmebrown@juno.com, and lets us see if we can become Friends ... if you might have some comfort level with exploring for those reasons for your not being free to exercise all that your Heart desires to express. I have but this medium through which to make this offer. (I could not find an Email address) So please forgive my open candor. But this business of living comfortably with Life is too crucial (to You and to those children who are relying on You for insights and guidance for their own understandings of openness to life), to let this moment pass without a bold response. (And everyone else ... just pretend that you don't see any of this! OK?) [grateful smile]

Lovingly ...

Classic Charm said...

Ah I knew I would find comfort here. I have indeed been in need of these words my friend. For I am having some "extras" these days on my aching heart. Your words have given me what I've needed these past few weeks. At least some inner peace after reading your words.
Love ya!
Hugs,
Rose

John-Michael said...

Ah, My Precious Rose! I ache at the thought of you being visited by any burden to your marvelous Spirit. Please know that I would lift this weight from you in any way possible. If my simple thoughts and considerations bring you even the slightest relief ... I would double and then re-double them for you. I do love You so, Dear Friend!

Loving You ...

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