Sunday, January 06, 2008

My Ride

“I have been watching you as you pass by … and I want to see what it would be like to share in your traveling experience. My present circumstance does not afford opportunity for my spirit to fully express itself … and I have fantasies about the potential joys awaiting our traveling together.”

This is the condensed and abbreviated message spoken to me by 'Her' … 'She' being in the person of several with whom I have shared my life journey for varying lengths of time, and in various forms of “travel modes.” What has been universally true of all of them is that She eventually relegated me to a role as chauffeur and/or guide whilst She gazed longingly upon other travelers, as they passed by Her window, in their vehicles of other description and circumstance. And I have repeatedly refused to be relegated to traveling in an environment of indifference and uncaring, disattached, aloneness. So, I have always found an emotionally safe place to discharge Her from my presence that She may pursue her interests and desires unencumbered by my presence.

What I have learned is that I, by far, prefer making my life-pilgrimage in solitude (though my deepest core yearning is for intimate romance as a constant presence and companion) … to having to accommodate the presence of someone who is perpetually in search of some “improved” status, comfort, or image that may be gained through some other association or modification to Her association with me.

This is, no doubt, what I find so charming about the image of the person traveling in a make-shift donkey cart, down a highway built for the latest and most advanced of state-of-the-art vehicles. The message to my soul, in that image, is one of the most intimate experiencing of a journey … taking in, at a soul-friendly pace, all of the elements of the environment traveled through … smelling all of the fragrances … feeling each bump and vibration of life‘s highway … hearing all of life’s soundtrack … tasting and savoring Nature’s aliveness … and having the time to permit all of it to register and be recorded in the treasury of my mind. Hence, I still travel alone … knowing, full-well, that the world … the culture … the society in which I walk my personal walk … is one of constant, comparative evaluations and judgments based on material standards set by never-satisfied economic forces. For I have not, as yet, discovered Her … that person who would opt to … would have the desire to … could not wait to tune out the prevailing voices of the surrounding world to know the fun and joy of traveling with me for the sake of simply being an integral part of me in my unique life-walk.

So … Dear Friend, I travel solo for this moment. And I find ways to form thoughts like this into language that I can share with you. Hoping that by doing so, I can awaken a fresh awareness, in both you and myself, of aspects of our inner Beings that have a hunger for attention … but have lacked for a forum for expression. And that has made you a valued partner in my journey and in my life. Your responses to my seedlings of thought give rise to the germination of more refined strains of realization. And, as these blossom, I will continue to share the fruits with you. For we share a magnificent Spirit within us … and that Spirit … with Love’s motivation … has the potential for you and me to make our personal world a bit better for all who are touched by our presence. And this is a worthy venture.

2 comments:

Merelyme said...

wow...whomever you are writing to is very special indeed. very nice post my friend.

John-Michael said...

Thank you, Merelyme, for your encouraging kindness. I fully trust my Muse (by whatever name you know your 'muse') to speak to me a message that some heart is readied for and receptive to. That heart is very special to me indeed. And I always write with a spirit of respectful appreciation for the gift of that moment.

(And always wait and anxiously listen for some hint of "Might SHE be the one to hear me?" Hope springs eternal in [my] human breast.)

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