Thursday, October 30, 2008

Love, Adoration, and Romance

Love: A feeling of strong personal attachment induced by a sympathetic understanding or by ties of kinship.

Adore: To feel or express reverent admiration for; to regard with fervent devotion and affection; to idolize.

This whole thing with me is about Adoration…not love. Do I love you? Of course I can have a feeling of strong personal attachment to you. You have presently or in the past instilled a sense of understanding and kinship in me. But do I adore you? Ahhh… there is a question that goes to another place entirely.

Must I be inspired, energized, motivated, even awestruck by my love for you? I think not. The awareness of my love for you may compel me to behavior only because of a sense of obligation or responsibility or some other uninspired yet worthy dictate of conscience. What cranks my motor… charges my batteries… launches my rocket... is Adoration. Give me only that and I will be with you more than you could ever have dreamed. I maintain that that is what was asked in “Fiddler on the Roof” when the question was posed (by the lead character, of his wife); “Do you love me?” What the character really wanted to know was “Do you adore me?”

Hence, it is my deduced conclusion, drawn from very personal experience, that what have, in my past, been encounters of mutual enchantment have encompassed neither the personal attachment of love, nor the fervent devotion of adoration. While on a pedestal of prominence, popularity, power, or influence, I may have been what was desired... I was fleetingly Enchanting (if you will.) Then, when brought down to the level ground of rational intimacy, with all of my foibles exposed, the option of Me didn’t look as appealing as it had before.

Just as the performer on film, or stage looks so desirable… then offstage the performer is seen as a person… not an icon, I have known (in many past circumstances) the attentions of admirers. Then, with the onset of recognition of the mortal Me, cold logic and personal agendas were applied and the scales of overall life preferences exerted influence much more heavily than those on the side of intangible fancy. While I may have inspired a momentary “WOW!” factor… I did not establish that more preferred and quietly elusive (and whispered) “oh my!“ of appreciation. And it is for that shared sigh of blissful recognition… that reverential gaze of wonder that I wait. That reflexive adoration expressed by two lovers mutually worshiping each other in an idolatry expressed in inspired union. This is what I hunger for. For it is my conviction that adoration is the life-blood of a living and thriving romance. And I am, undeniably, a romantic.

So, “Why share all of this with me?” you ask. Certainly not to present answers...but to, instead, place considerations… definitions… perspectives in new unused vocabulary… before you. To offer you exposed thoughts and feelings that you would otherwise not bring to the surface of your awareness. To allow you to explore and discover fresh vistas of yourself that will peel back curtains of uncertainty that have, heretofore, not allowed you to appreciate all of your capabilities. To breathe into you a fresh breath of living borne of awareness of more of your Self. This is my desire for you, Dear Reader. That you will “Know Thyself” better through your consideration of this gift of my little reflections.


IMAGE: Mary Russell, BBC

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

John-Michael when the "real" you (or me)is exposed, no facades, no plastic surroundings, no bright lights and we are still ADORED thats LOVE. Its easy to adore what is not familiar not truly known to us. But when the clear naked truth of self is exposed and someone can look at you with that special, only you may recognize, intimate look......thats adoration! Is it not everyones desire?

aims said...

I experience this with The Man. He instilled this in me a long time ago as did my beloved Cid. I am thankful that I have had the chance to experience this in my life.

It did change everything for me when I thought of love.

John-Michael said...

I write of Adoration, and speak so openly of it because I have not heard anyone ever even mention its merits. And those aspects of our Selves, and our potentials, that remain unspoken of ... tend to fall to places of disregard, and neglect in our consciousness. Hence, you will (as long as I know the breath of living) hear me singing the joys of loving ... and yes, even Adoring ... as loudly, frequently, and with as strong a voice as I can muster. Lest those, who are within the orbits of my personal world, lose their fleeting opportunities to know Love, be loved, know Adoration, and be adored.

Thank you for your visit, My Anonymous Friend.

John-Michael said...

You, My ever-so-Dear Aims, have had visited upon your life's path, a wondrous Gift. Poured into the beautiful vessel of your Heart, Adoration, and Love, found a worthy receptacle.

Lovingly ...

Anonymous said...

I feel so blessed John-Michael to be loved and adored by my husband of 21 years. We met at 16 and have had the opportunity to travel through many ups and downs and different stages of life together. It has never been perfect but it has always been there, a huge part of who I am and what I have become. I was also fortunate to have a wonderful young man be my "first" love/crush when I was 14. He was a sweet and gentle young man who reminded me of all of my worth. I hope he too found a life-long love to share his life. John-Michael I hope you too find someone who adores every single thing about you...each and every day! Lisa L.

lime said...

interesting ruminations.

when tevye and his wife ask each other "do you love me" i hear (and i am not sure i'd call it adoration or not) the following.

after all this time
do i matter to you?
am i special to you?
is my absence felt as a vacuum which can be filled by no other?
does my presence bless you and will you bless me?
is whatever duty you perform on my behalf motivation by mere societal expectation or as a debt of affection?
does the thought of me warm you on a cold day?
if you had to choose all over again, would you still choose me?
do you love me?

willow said...

Listen to your heart. Always. x x

John-Michael said...

Lisa, My Dear Friend, your prayer for me is gratefully received, and heartily embraced. As you so well said, you are, most certainly, blessed. And, in the presence of my regard for who you have revealed your Self to be, I am most pleased with your happy blessing.

Caringly ...

John-Michael said...

Methinks, Dearest Lime, that our individual and intimately personal knowledge, of what 'adoration' is to us ... is coloured and shaped by the blended mix of our innate temperament, our experiential development in emotional and spiritual terms, and the yearnings that we know in our present circumstances. Thusly, I am ever-so grateful for your sharing of your Heart's inclination to interpret the concept.

Lovingly ...

John-Michael said...

You, Precious Willow, have summed up the very core of what I invest so much of my Self in trying to encourage in each life that I am fortunate enough to touch. If I can, in deed and fact, know any success in encouraging others to listen to;honour; respect; and then, trust and respond to their Heart's whisperings ... I will be satisfied, indeed. Thank you, Dear One.

Lovingly ...

Suza said...

Reverent admiration - does that not say it all? For there is a sacred and deep well where that is drawn from. And those who truly open themselves can drink fully and to their soul's content. "Oh, my."

John-Michael said...

The definition of a quality well worth pursuit ... yes, Dear Suza, I agree that it leaves little more to be said.

Lovingly ...

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