Sunday, January 18, 2009

Evolving Thoughts on Love & Adoration

: A feeling of strong personal attachment ...
induced by a sympathetic understanding or by ties of kinship

Adore: To feel or express reverent admiration for;
to regard with fervent devotion and affection; to idolize

This whole 'Thing' ... the challenge (for me) ... is about adoration … NOT love. I love readily. My preset response to living, Life, and all that I engage with as I live my life ... is to love. When I ask myself, “Do I love you?” it is entirely possible that I (as the individual [with all of the accoutrements that are part and parcel to my temperament and personality]) could even say, “Of course, I love you. But do I adore you? Possibly not. It may even be true that I really do not enjoy too large a dose of … you.” Could any of us actually vocalize that awareness to One with whom we share what is defined as “love?” (In whatever context defining a particular relationship.) Of course not! That would be, at least, unkind and insensitive … if not cruel. But do we not see just such an unspoken declaration all about us … being lived out in uninspired relationships that exist within those boundaries known as “Love?” Is it possible that I can love you … yet not be inspired, energized, motivated by that love? Yes … often! That awareness, of loving, may compel me to behavior, only because of a sense of obligation, responsibility, or some other uninspired dictate of conscience. But for a Romantic (the ‘affliction’ that I am ‘blessed’ with), love does not satisfy the demands that are ever-present in my Being.

What cranks my motor… charges my batteries… launches my rocket is adoration. Give me only that and I will be with you more than you could ever have dreamed. For, you see, I am one of those disgustingly incurable Romantics. I maintain that that is what was asked in “Fiddler on the Roof” when the question was posed; “Do you love me?” What he really wanted to know was “Do you adore me?” Perhaps even “Do you yearn for me … desire me?” He already had a certainty that he and his wife were safely nested in that “feeling of strong personal attachment induced by a sympathetic understanding or by ties of kinship.” What he wanted … needed … to know, was “Am I the person who you hunger for and are giddy with delight at having as Yours?” He was expressing a momentary sensitivity to romanticism.

Hence, it is my deduced conclusion, drawn from very personal experience, that to various women … who, in my past, have been enchanted with me, then decided that what they had (in whatever was their alternative circumstance), was more complimentary to their long-term ambitions, than me … I was but a Whimsy of intense, but momentary, enchantment. While I was perched on a whatever precarious pedestal (of prominence, popularity, power, or influence) that prevailed in the moment of our familiarity … I was what was desired (the object of a fleeting fascination ([if you will.]) But, when brought down to the level ground of rational intimacy, with all of my foibles exposed, the option of ‘Me’ didn’t look as appealing as it had before.

Just as the Performer on film, or stage looks so desirable … then, when offstage, is seen as a person … not an icon. At this juncture cold logic and personal agendas are applied and the scales of preference are influenced much more heavily on the pragmatic side, rather than on the side of that intangible known to us all as, “Romanticism.” I no longer inspired what I call “The WOW factor“… adoration from the other. And adoration is a constantly living dynamic in a thriving romance. Hence … I live alone. How’s that for an humbling personal insight?

(thoughts germinated, 12 October 1999 and pruned 18 Jan 2009)


aims said...

I love to tell The Man how much I adore him. He gets that look in his eye - the abashed look of - oh golly really? look - and I just want to zip around the room and wave my hands in the air.

Because I do. And I have to say that I have never done that with anyone else that I have been 'in love with'.

Adoration is certainly a far different thing than loving. You've hit the nail on the head once more dear heart.

John-Michael said...

You, My Darling Aims, have validated all of the excruciating delving into the closet of my past. I have struggled for years(as mentioned in the 1999 to present date notation at the bottom) with finding ways to express these considerations. This is something that I have never heard discussed ... yet, I felt a need to try to shape words to reflect these elements of the Human experience.

THANK YOU!, Dear One for letting me know that my efforts struck home with you. I can not adequately convey how precious this is to me.

Lovingly ...

lime said...

i think it is a rare thing for that level of adoration to remain undimmed for very long...though i have seen it in some cases or noticed how it goes from and intense blaze to a comfortable glow that is more enduring.

John-Michael said...

Part of knowing my Self, is acknowledging both halves of the label affixed to my personality/temperament type. Hence, as an "Idealist/Romantic," I am cursed, or blessed (depending on One's point of perspective), with an innate propensity to unfailingly seek the "always even better" in every element of living, loving, and relating to life.

So, My Darling Lime, I find my Self in an unending quest for that higher quality, and more satisfying level of all that I know. I have become rather comfortable with that truth. And enjoy each new experience that results from its pursuit. (And ... Yes! ... I do enjoy satisfaction in each plateau gained. [smile])

Lovingly ...

Anonymous said...

I have adored just one person in my life besides my children. And God saw fit to take him from me. But nothing can take my memories of him & us together.

John-Michael said...

How very wonderful for you, Dear Anonymous Friend, to have the Gift, of those indelible Memories, to treasure. I am smiling a warm smile of appreciative admiration and peaceful satisfaction with and for you. Thank you for sharing that insight.

Lovingly ...

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