Monday, October 27, 2008

I Differ


There are some things that are (by their nature) a bit difficult to discuss. Topics that cause a little uneasy squirming in mentioning. Orgasm is somewhere near the top of that list. The very word encourages a turning away of the gaze, and nervous shuffling of feet. But I found myself speaking (albeit in a somewhat obtuse manner) about orgasm and foreplay during a prolonged exchange of candor with a dear Friend, just yesterday. So, as is the natural course of things with Yours Truly, my mind continued on with an expanded consideration of the subject, today. And, bless your enduring and tolerant heart, you, My Darling Reader, are now confronted with the outfall of some of those considerations.


I have been, for quite a long time, bothered by, and even, with some regularity, aggravated by our world’s fascination with and propensity toward what we lump together under the heading of “Extreme Sport.” I am vexed by all of the expense that is funneled into … and all of the time, energies, and pre-occupation devoted to .. Bungee-cord jumping, sky-diving, snow-boarding, black-course ski slopes, running of the bulls … well, you catch my drift. I listen, with intense focus, to the interviews of participants as they breathlessly describe the orgasmic satisfaction achieved at the peak of their short-lived experience … and I have yet to be impressed. And, until the light of understanding began to glow in my conscious awareness, yesterday, I really dismissed my lousy attitude as just some individual, and yet-undiscovered, hang-up. But I now know what “the deal” is with me. I yearn for foreplay. Yep! That’s the whole story in a proverbial ‘nutshell.’

I am far more enchanted with and excited by the intercourse between the Performer on stage and their engaged and captivated Audience, than I am with the orgasmic applause at Performance’s conclusion. I savour a day of hand-holding and silly whisperings far more than the immediate and conclusive pinnacle of sexual climax. And no! … you may not dismiss this propensity as the natural consequence of three-score years of living. Nope! I have always known this preference as my own. But, until yesterday’s conversation, and today’s writing, I haven’t had the clarity of understanding or comfort in expression, necessary to express my preference. And, lucky you [smile], you get to be the first to be assailed with my opinion.

I clearly remember my tears and sense of wonderment and appreciation as I watched Red Skelton sharing moments of unstructured and spontaneous silliness with his adoring and readily included Audience. Though I always (including today) shed tears of loving admiration at close of each of Mr. Skelton’s performances … as he humbly and graciously thanked those who had granted him the honour of the time and attention shared … I never (before now) examined the “why” of my reaction. I dismissed it as just another example of my over-the-top predisposition to sensitivity. Today, I have a clearer understanding and appreciation of my values. I would live a life of unending foreplay. I would choose the sprinkling of moments of sweet sighs amidst a mist of consistent touches, kisses, messages, looks, giggles, brief dances, and playful comments … over the occasional happening of the wildly athletic sexual rodeo (though those will always have a welcome place in life’s repertoire.)

So, Dear patient Friend, there you have it. Yet another glimpse into the not-so-orthodox inner workings of your John-Michael. I do gratefully thank you for your generous enduring of my altogether personal openness. I accept that as a rich personal compliment ... and leave you with This.


(Note: If you have no success with the link above, I ask that you do your Self the favour of copying, and pasting ...
http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_PIadFsvDk&feature=related . You will be glad.)

10 comments:

aims said...

I couldn't go to 'this' and am wondering what it is.

But still -

Bless you JM for bringing back to the front of my memory Red Skeleton. That dear man who entertained us so gently and yes with so much silliness - taking us into his space and sharing - in a time when life was easier and we knew this type of happiness and laughter to be true.

I understand what you are saying about foreplay. The game itself gives far more than the conclusion. The conclusion is just that - a conclusion. Sure it can be a resounding one - but it is still - the conclusion.

To play - to dance- to frolic - lifts the spirit far more than the final bow. The heart slows with the final bow but the dancing before? It makes your heart beat faster and the smile is bigger.....

Oh yes - I do understand dear JM.

John-Michael said...

So very encapsulated, My Dear Aims. You have beautifully stated what I am wanting so to share ... and I thank you!

Hopefully, This will allow you access where you had none on the post.

I love you (doncha know ..)

lime said...

sigh....that video left me with tears in my eyes. getting to the end of life with the one person whose smile still makes warmth spread throughout your entire being and whose touch chases away loneliness, that's the goal i had.

and i am not sure what it says about me that i am a thrill seeker who also revels in the cuddles and glances. i'm either balanced in my desires for various forms of intimacy or greedy....i do want it all.

but you know, you haven't mentioned the afterglow....sigh....

John-Michael said...

Well ... My darling Lime ... it is now after 8:30PM and I posted the video, wedded to the spirit of my thoughts, sometime around 5:30PM ... and I am still replaying the video. So, what do ya reckon I think about just what you are speaking to? [grin] I am so glad that I could encapsulate some of the spectrum of what I am trying to convey, in this 'package.'

I am smilingly enjoying your participation in the 'spirit' of the moment. This makes me feel like I have given something of merit to you ... and I LIKE that!

Loving you ...

Suza said...

To the hand holding and silly whisperings, I would add reading aloud to the one who makes your heart beat a little faster. To me, that is one of the most intimate, loving gestures one can bestow. Beautiful post, John-Michael.

John-Michael said...

Wow! You, Sweet Suza, just brought to mind a happening of long ago. I had a Friend who had a sleeping disorder. We met in the early morning hours as I delivered newspapers. She would be out walking, and trying to make herself sleepy enough to get some badly needed rest. So we agreed to try something to help her. She would call me each night that she was having a difficulty ... and i would read poetry to her. It was great for us both. I love reading poetry ... and she was always lulled to easy sleep with the practice. It was wonderful! Unfortunately, she got her body-clock reset by the exercise ... then moved away. And I haven't thought about how nice that was til now. Thank you for the recall.

Caringly ...

Anonymous said...

John-Michael you made me recall a long ago time in my life. A sweet time of glances, hand holding, walks in the gentle rain, dancing on the porch, sharing wonderful times with that oh so special person. Things happen, people die BUT I'm forever grateful for that time.

John-Michael said...

Your lovely reflections, My Anonymous Friend, gave my Soul a warm and gentle smile as I allowed my Self to accompany you in your reliving of those Treasures. To have had the blessed honor of sounding the Trump of re-awakening for those memories is a satisfying and rewarding blessing for me. And that You are generous enough to include me in your "dance on the porch" ... well ... it simply gets no better than that. Thank you so much!

Endearingly ...

Anonymous said...

Although I do agree with you, that all the preambles (hugging, kissing, laughing, etc.) are great ... there is still nothing on earth that beats the total union of one soul with another who deeply love! As a singleton I miss all these things but know that when the time is right I shall once more have a union with another who is a 'perfect fit'.

In the meantime I hug, kiss laugh, etc., with friends both male and female which is of some comfort. Here's wishing that you receive all the love you deserve.

Denise XX

John-Michael said...

Having the sweet blessing, of our relationship, to bolster and encourage my Spirit, gives me a happy lift to my step and a bit of a song in my heart. I thank you, for that, Dear Denise.

Lovingly ...

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