When Garrison asked Concert Pianist, Andre Watts, if he would be unnerved by the presence of any significant individual at one of his performances, the gentleman said that the presence of his last teacher, a Mr. Fleischer, would give him some apprehension. “I would imagine that he would be saying ‘I told you not to do that’.” Mr. Watts said.What concerns me here is the revelation that Mr. Watts' thought was centered on the possibility of condemnation… a recognition of “what I did wrong.” Why, I wonder, do we instinctively anticipate a negative critique? All too seldom, to my thinking, do we think that the appraisal of another will be in the theme of “Oh… how pleased I am that you did those good things so well!” Is not a positive endorsement of more worth and value than a “constructive” criticism (or, at least, of value equal)? Why, oh why do we feel that a correction is of more merit than the recognition of the things done well? No!… and again I say “No!” to this habit that we have adopted to feel compelled to offer only a “helpful” suggestion as our first and primary comment when presenting our impression of the performance of another.
I ask that you consider the response of this famous and well respected concert master of world renown… our aforementioned Andre’ Watts… who has all of the talent, training, and experience that could, reasonably, establish himself above vulnerability to anticipation of the criticisms of any other. The majority of us, at any age, are not nearly so well equipped. Thus, for him to reveal his inner concern for and vulnerability to insecurity serves to accentuate how pervasive (and even, possibly, irrational) this common fear is.
Please, Dear Friend, listen to yourself when next you have occasion to comment on the behavior or performance of another… let’s lift one another up on the arms of kind consideration. Wouldn’t it be a marvelous thing to have others hoping that you will be the one in their “audience” in life because they know that you will be supportive, appreciative, and respectful of them?
It is my prayer that I will be that person in your life.
(IMAGE: Martina Brandstetter,BBC )
2 comments:
I wish we wouldn't let what other people think of us get in the way of becoming ourselves... I'm not saying we shouldn't take into account their opinion but we should do just that and not let it interfere with our beliefs and our core. It is just an opportunity to improve and our goal shouldn't be to satisfy everyone but to feel comfortable with ourselves... Isn't it a petty not putting 100% of ourselves in anything we try just out of fear of rejection? And why does one critisizing sentence mean more than the smile...? :)
I agree with you and hope to be a smile in your(in everyone's)audience for you to look and feel better!:)
With much appreciation, mk!
I love your blog, go on, please!
OK... I now bow in grateful thanks from the cloud that you have lifted me up to. You have encouraged (and, please believe me... I am much in need of that... I am often quite uncertain of the relevance and/or worth of these little meanderings of my mind.) You have sent my spirit soaring!
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