Victorious Surrender

  

He that is down
needs fear no fall,
He that is low no pride.
He that is humble ever shall
Have God to be his guide.

JohnBunyan 1628-88
The Pilgrim’s Progress (1684) Pt.2 ‘Shepherd Boy’s Song

In reflecting upon a line spoken by one if the characters in the movie As Good As It Gets, I was reminded of an essay by James Allen entitled “Divine Love is Selfless.” The line delivered by the movie character was “The best thing you have going for you is your willingness to humiliate yourself.” Though I was not clear on the import of that thought, I did make note of the line as I watched the movie (yes… I make notes during a movie… another of my ‘endearing quirks.’) As I considered that line over the course of several weeks, I saw that the character speaking those words was aware of the barrier that his pride and self-promoting spirit were to the fulfillment of his heart’s desire. He was so firmly ensconced in his ‘fortress’ of self-preservation that his defenses had become his prison. I saw the lesson of the merits of our willingness to humble ourselves, or, if you will allow, to put aside our pride in exchange for the benefit of a selfless love portrayed in this tormented character’s yearning. Wow! That insignificant line from the movie (that was delivered for comedic effect) has something of tremendous value for our consideration.

So, Dear Friend, you will see how the essay from the late Mr. Allen (whose work I commend most highly to you) put me in mind of the movie’s message as I quote to you the following excerpt:

Divine Love is Selfless

He who has realized the Love that is divine has become a new being, and has ceased to be swayed and dominated by the old elements of self. He is known for his patience, his purity, his self-control, his deep charity of heart, and his unalterable sweetness.

Divine or selfless Love is not a mere sentiment or emotion; it is a state of knowledge, which destroys the dominion of evil and the belief in evil, and lifts the soul into the joyful realization of the supreme good. To the divinely wise, knowledge and Love are one and inseparable.

It is toward the complete realization of this divine Love that the whole world is moving; it was for this purpose that the universe came into existence, and every grasping at happiness, every reaching out of the soul toward objects, ideas, and ideals, is an effort to realize it. But the world does not realize this Love at present because it is grasping at the fleeting shadow and ignoring, in its blindness, the substance. And so suffering and sorrow continue, and must continue until the world, taught by its self-inflicted pains, discovers the Love that is selfless, the wisdom that is calm and full of peace.

And this Love, this Wisdom, this Peace. This tranquil state of mind and heart may be attained to, may be realized by all who are willing and ready to yield up self, and who are prepared to humbly enter into the comprehension of all that giving up self involves.

(This is an excerpted portion of James Allen’s larger work entitled “The Realization of Selfless Love”)

In bringing this to you I recall a conversation… no, actually two conversations that I had with a young lady whose name I never knew but whose path crossed mine in the course of my early morning newspaper deliveries.

The lady had a boyfriend who shared her home with her and was gentleman enough to go out each morning to pick up the paper from the walkway in front of their townhouse. He and I shared passing waves of recognition, then, over time, salutary greetings, and eventually, brief conversations about trivial matters of no great note… but altogether enjoyable nonetheless. Then I realized that I had not seen him for quite a while.

Some time later, the lady flagged me down and came over to the window of my vehicle saying, “I know that you must have noticed that my boyfriend hasn’t been out to speak to you as he did in the past. Well (pause) we broke up. You know how hard relationships are. We just didn’t seem to be on the same page (or something equivalent in meaning.)” Being unprepared for this conversation and at a loss for the ‘right thing’ to say, I agreed with her that relationships are, indeed, “hard” and that it was unfortunate that they had to suffer the pains of breaking up. I thanked her for her generous thoughtfulness in letting me know and went on my way. Then I began to consider the import of what we had said to each other and determined that, if Life allowed an opportunity for another encounter, I would amend my remarks.

Surely enough, some time later, we saw each other and I apologized for my initial response to her stated summary on relationships. I then explained that nothing could ever possibly be easier than a healthy relationship inasmuch as there is nothing easier than surrender. Letting all of the defenses down, turning off all of the self-preservation systems, and permitting free and all-accepting vulnerability to reign is the easiest of all possible exercises. The only proviso that enters into the equation is being certain that the person to whom you surrender yourself is going to honor the ‘terms of surrender’ and join with you in making the efforts necessary to accommodating a mutually respectful environment of peace. Then that “tranquil state of mind and heart” spoken of by James Allen can be realized in that “Selfless Love” to which he refers.

There, in three settings, I hear the same message presented, reinforced by my recollection of the scripture passage: Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church and gave himself up for her. (Ephesians 5:25) Again, Selfless Love expressing itself in humble surrender for the realization of the peace and tranquility that is known in a love that is truly divine.

So, Dear One, I submit, for your consideration, potentially new “litmus tests” by which to evaluate a relationship. Do you, I would ask, allow your “significant other” an opportunity to safely and confidently surrender to your shared relationship? Is the environment that you create one of calmness and peace born of selflessness? Are these the attributes that you recognize as being offered to you by the object of your affection? Is it ‘hard’ to maintain a relationship or do you find yourself enjoying the efforts made to secure a comfortable haven for your trust? Are the setting aside of your self-defense barriers and a comfortable willingness to ‘humiliate’ yourself common to you?

To the end that I can offer a perspective that serves your happiness and joy, I present these thoughts in humble and caring love as I remain your constant Friend and Servant.

(IMAGE: Through the gracious courtesy of Ian Britton, FreeFoto.Com)