Choice … Loss
I would protest in loudest of voice,
Register my complaint and confirm it in the most strident of terms.
But, alas, there are no ears to hear.
And my fury is diluted into a whimper of anguish and despair.
For, it was never mine, in Fact.
All that I knew was the thrill of a Promise that lacked in substance.
All that I really heard were words ...
Whispered in tones of wistful awareness of Impossibility.
But the words were the Ones that I yearned to hear.
The voice in timbre that stirred comfort and peaceful acceptance.
All too willingly I hushed dissent … dismissed the tones.
Only postponing the inevitable unhappiness that accompanies loss.
And loss it is … loss of all possibilities.
What never was, ‘could have been,’ had only the circumstance allowed.
Circumstance and choice of will.
Not my will, but hers … beyond my influence or control … she chose …
We lose.
John-Michael
22April 2008
I would protest in loudest of voice,
Register my complaint and confirm it in the most strident of terms.
But, alas, there are no ears to hear.
And my fury is diluted into a whimper of anguish and despair.
For, it was never mine, in Fact.
All that I knew was the thrill of a Promise that lacked in substance.
All that I really heard were words ...
Whispered in tones of wistful awareness of Impossibility.
But the words were the Ones that I yearned to hear.
The voice in timbre that stirred comfort and peaceful acceptance.
All too willingly I hushed dissent … dismissed the tones.
Only postponing the inevitable unhappiness that accompanies loss.
And loss it is … loss of all possibilities.
What never was, ‘could have been,’ had only the circumstance allowed.
Circumstance and choice of will.
Not my will, but hers … beyond my influence or control … she chose …
We lose.
John-Michael
22April 2008
20 comments:
This is quite poignant and sad JDM.
Some things we can't control. Those things we just have to accept... and move on. Hope you find some peace. Looking at the date on today's piece this is a fairly raw and recent feeling. Chin up!
Sending (hugs) and love.
Thank You, Baby-Girl, this Life thingy can be a bit of a bugger, at that!
Sure do Love You, Cath-Daughter, Though!
[Big Daddy Smile]
and so the flower opens to the noon day sun and withers in the heat only to grow stronger and more beautiful to some unsuspecting soul who will come along, pluck it and keep it as a token of all that is real and sweet and everlasting...a mere season in life felt through words...quietly resting on my ears and settling into my heart and believing that possibility could never equate complete loss, only a new perspective...
hugs,
Joni
That's so apt on how I'm feeling now. Thank you for sharing J-M.
Oh and I LOVE the song you've put on the blog! One of my FAVES!!!
Thus, we are assured that we are, indeed, living that moment ... inasmuch as we are knowing the completeness of the cycle of living ... in, yet another of life's demonstrations.
How I thrill in the majesty of our voices in harmony, Dearest Joni, as you, so beautifully, sing the wonder of the Lead ... and I take up the balance in support.
Thank You for lending your sweetness to my life's song, Dear One. I love You entirely!
You and Me, Vi, My Darlin!' We can dance this "Life-Dance" together ... and I like the way that we float across the dance-floor of our passing circumstance.
You have my Love, Sweet Friend!
That's quite heavy, John-Michael. I hope the writing helped to ease the pain. In any case, God bless - of course!
Thank you, Jim. You are, of course, quite right. It is a "heavy" matter, indeed. And just another aspect of living this life that i share in the trusting hope that my expressions give some device of encouragement or assistance to Another.
You are most appreciated, my SulDog Friend.
Ah John-Michael...Such powerful words. I love you. For who you are and what's in your heart.
"All that I knew was the thrill of a Promise that lacked in substance.
All that I really heard were words ...
Whispered in tones of wistful awareness of Impossibility."
You wrote these words but my heart knows them all too well....
(((HUGS)))
It is sad to know you must surrender because of another. Although, sometimes the thought of "what might have been" is better than the reality of it.
Heartfelt and honest words, John-Michael. It takes courage to feel fully such setbacks, but shaping them into a form like this is a way of letting it all pass through.
Good work, friend.
You know John-Michael...I don't know, maybe i'm just feeling frisky and fiesty today but guess what...Even though you wrote those words and my heart feels them we WILL rise above all the negativity we are facing! I have COMPLETE faith that everything negative is only temporary and by everything I believe in we will make it so! I'm here for you my friend like I know you are for me. With a smile, warm words and our heads held high we can do anything!!! Belief and hope in something more and better, let's hold on to that!!!! WOOHOO!! I'm on a role now and probably ain't makin a lick of sense but I can't leave here until I have a smile on your face!!!!
For it is the moments like these that make us the stronger person we will be. Please know that we all love and adore you and hopefully these words will help comfort you.
Crystal, My Darling Angel, how gladdened it makes my heart to rest in a comfortable awareness that you and I share this marvel that is the Gift of our Love!
You knowing the 'circumstances,' surrounding this expression of my Heart's disappointment, makes your joining me in my efforts, to state my feelings, an encouragement.
You bless Me!
NiteByrd, My Darling, You speak with the "tongue of an angel." For tis consummately true that those scales weighing the "might have beens" must fairly count all that tips the balance on both the beneficial and painful cradles. And it seems that you join me in an understanding of the reality that loss of possible Good might well be a desirable price to pay for avoidance of painful Bad.
I am grateful for your joining me in this moment. I love You!
San, your grace and tender words of understanding give my Spirit succor. Thank you, Darling Friend!
My love to You ...
Crystal, you just directed a cloud of 'smile dust' to blow from your heart to mine! And in darn good time too ... all this way from Waco to Tampa! You delight and please me no end! Thank you for being our joint cheer-leader today. i promise to have my pom-poms (now there is a terrifying visual! [grin]) ready for my turn as our cheering squad.
Love Ya, Sugar-Dumplin!
... silence ... as I catch my breath ... and bask in this Wonder that is your Spirit's consistent effect on all that I am, My Precious Treasure, Jillie. To have this awareness of You ... having Me ... occupying your Being for this moment ... simply overwhelms and fills me with wondrous joy.
My Love of and respect for You is immeasurable.
Hi John-Michael,
You know this is very sad, but your writing as usual beautiful and heartfelt. I feel your loss through your words.
Hugs,
Rose
This nice! Your words, Rose, My Darling, and "What a Wonderful World" being sung in the background ... totally appropriate! Thank You, Sweetheart, for your Spirit ... and Heart!
I love You!
Post a Comment