The Absence

Here I am, several hours past the time when I should be asleep. But, No! She will not let me sleep. She stirs, prods, and insists that I recall, refresh and make anew my first introduction to her. My lovely, ‘mistress of my mind’ … Lady Muse. It is with an inexplicable sense, of undefined urgency, that she demands that I set before you, Dear Reader, something of long ago. Something that proved to be the emergence of, what I now comfortably know as, my passion to write.

I had dealt with this whispering and hinting ‘inner voice’ all of my life. She patiently endured all manner of labels and titles for many years. Some philosophical, others religious, and yet others social in basis. And she, undeterred, kept faithfully opening windows of revelation and insight; throwing illumination on dark and obscure ideas. Until that day of her “coming out.”

For many years I struggled with trying to form a coherent image ... an understanding ... something that I could relate to in expressing the particular need, that I was aware of, for a specific, and uniquely suited, woman to complete me as the man that I yearned to be. Then, on 06 September of 1989, at lunch in a fast-food restaurant, it came to me. (And I became aware of my Lady Muse then.) I turned my paper place-mat over and on it penned this expression. I truly hope that it gives language to your spirit as I share with you ...

THE ABSENCE

He walks proudly, as the sovereign of beings,
Parading confidence in his very presence.
Seemingly he needs none other than himself…
The power exuded in his solitude and might,
Bespeaks no requirement beyond his own strengths.

Yet, with him, each step of the way, is a powerful Absence;
Just as real and tangible as any presence, this Absence has form,
Size, Dimension, Breath, Warmth, Character, and Being.
And… in its existence, the Absence holds power and authority
Equal to all held by its host.

Indeed, he is but a fraction of what he is capable of being…
With this Absence keeping pace with him… stride for stride.
While he seems fully equipped to dominate, control, and enjoy his term as master…
His ability to measure up to the illusion, the expectations, is diluted…
By the Absence that denies him the power that would be his, in Her Presence.

Her Presence, in displacing the Absence, fills his every void …
Those of need, desire, inspiration, motivation, fulfillment and joy.
And serves to energize him toward all that is expected of so grand a Creature as he.
Her Presence, in displacing the Absence, makes of him all
That the image of him proclaims … providing the substance to support the vision.

Her Presence … but, oh, such a void when it remains the Absence …
Waiting, hungering, echoing for the filling… when…

“THE TWO SHALL BE AS ONE.”

John-Michael
06Sept1989
Revised: 25Apr2001
Revised: 10Aug2004
Revised: 21 Mar 2008

Now that I have concluded my preparations of this bit of Me, for posting, I am aware of a sleepiness that had been kept from me ‘til now. So, Dear Reader and Friend, I bid you the sweetest of dreams; and solutions to whatever vexation that had you seeking when you retired for the night. So, for whomever Lady Muse instructed me to prepare and post this perspective, I do hope that, in this work you will find your own peace (feel free to as your own Muse for help in this undertaking ... that's why she was created ... to speak these truths to you, and give you a confidence in all of your tomorrows.)