Wednesday, March 05, 2008

'Tis You, and Not Me

Again, this morning, in response to the thoughts accumulating and falling in order as I work … I stop at ‘Mickey D’s’ on my way home. The staff knows … coffee … back corner booth … Waterman in hand and little tablet on table … let the writing begin!

And, today, I offer decades of repeated experience in the form of :


'Tis You, and Not Me

I have heard the “Darling,”
The "Sweetheart” and “Dear.”
I have listened to whispers,
And, hope-filled, drawn near.

And, Oh how I’ve wanted,
Yearned that it be …
That the moment, the enticements,
Were intended for me.

But time has belied it
Too many lips have grown cold,
For me to deny
The truth that they told.

‘Twas never Me that they wanted
I was never their dream.
Only my heart’s expressions
Did they long to glean.

The lyrics of my love’s song,
The ballad of my words,
From the lips of another
She wanted them heard.

She has longed to hear
Declarations of love
The One she has chosen
Is not capable of.

So, I hear her “I love you”
Knowing yet ‘tis untrue.
She loves my words only
To be spoken by You.

The soundtrack, the script,
From my pen she would place.
In your heart she would have them;
On your lips … in your face.

Thus, now knowing and wiser
I give my heart voice;
Aware and accepting
That You are her choice.

I now sing my heart’s love song
Lest the song go unsung;
That You may adopt it …
From You, now it comes.


John-Michael
05 March 2008

31 comments:

CrazyCath said...

Yet again, so honest. What beautiful words. Real longing and then acceptance.
Your previous post - just to let you know. The soul who needed it is my son. It has helped so much today. Thank you. I may post about it's impact later on mine when I feel up to it.

John-Michael said...

Thank you, Cath. I am hesitant about splashing my emotions on 'the page.' But push myself through my 'Introvert inclination' by considering that unknown Someone who may be waiting for just those words to give their spirit's need a voice.

I am MOST anxious to hear about your son's story. (whispering now so that no one else hears [Email me if you can, and let me know ... just between us])

I am grateful for your 'realness.'

CrazyCath said...

He deserves the public acknowledgment but if it gets too personal, I'll fill you in! You deserve that much.

I'll get to it in a bit.

John-Michael said...

My Dear Cath, I 'deserve' naught! But am complimented (really) to be included in your circle of confidence. You are a dear.

Vi said...

beautifully written as usual J-M, but I've gotta know one thing...

they sell watermelon in McDonalds over there?????

John-Michael said...

Oh My Gosh, Vi ... I am (quite literally) laughing OUT LOUD!!

You gave me a "visual" of watermelon being served to rush-hour commuters at the drive-thru. Too hilarious! But, Nope! no WM here. (now you gotta tell me ... do they THERE?)

Lizzy in the Burbs said...

Well, as the old saying goes, "Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." It's never wrong to care about someone, although it does hurt if they don't return the emotion. Very moving!

Lizzy

John-Michael said...

AND LOST ... ANd LOSt ... And LOst ... and Lost ... an lo ... (is there an echo in here?) All kidding aside (if I do that the tears will wreck my keyboard!) tis true ... I'll NEVER forsake the giving away of my heart. It is a wonderful thing ... it keeps regenerating ever stronger, and with ever-greater capacities.

nitebyrd said...

Wouldn't a delicious, cold slice of juicy watermelon handed out the drive-thru window at rush-hour be just heavenly?

J-M, the poem is so bittersweet.

John-Michael said...

OK ... OVERactive imagery in action here ... We all know the image of the coffee drinker sipping their (or our) cup of java behind the wheel. Replace the java with a huge wedge of watermelon. Now THAT would add entertainment value to the commute!

"Bittersweet" pretty well sums up the emotion lived with. You are right on!

Melissa said...

You really are a wonderful poet. So many times I have sat down to write a poem and I find I'm just unable. Some people have it and some don't. I fear I'm a don't, you obviously are a do.

david mcmahon said...

Your appreciation of life is the key to your gift for writing.

John-Michael said...

You, Dear Man (and please know that I sincerely intend every syllable), make appreciating life much more natural and comfortable for me.

NAMASTE

Crystal Jigsaw said...

You certainly have a way with words. These were a joy to recite.

Crystal xx

John-Michael said...

Crystal, Dear encouragement to my Spirit ...

You made my heart happy,
When on page you did write,
That the words of my poem …
“Were a joy to recite.”

Misty Dawn said...

Each time I visit your blog, I never just 'read' your words, I FEEL them in my heart, and I continue to have them in my head for hours to come. Thank you - you are fabulously talented.

John-Michael said...

Misty, Sweet Lady and soul quieting Friend.

You have, indeed quieted and stilled me with what you said. So, I am compelled to honor that gift with an intimate insight.

I have struggled for the decades mentioned in this poem, with a way to express the real and actual experience that I have lived over and over since High School.Each word that you felt ... is a reflection of the constant feeling residing in my core for all these years. Only revealed, after much effort, first to myself, then on page today.

That you allowed your heart to listen and know the expression of my heart ... humbles and quiets me in gratitude.

NAMASTE

Classic Charm said...

John,
I now have a "need" to visit your blog daily, for you fill my soul with your profound words. Thank you for your beautiful words each and every day. I am blown away by your amazing talent!

Rose

John-Michael said...

I have the thought, Dear Rose, that there lives, between spirits and souls, a communication made possible by the will exercised by our Selves. As I express my gratitude to that Source giving me the gift of what I am compelled to write ... I am equally grateful for your gift of receptiveness. This shared experience is sacred to me, and deeply respected. I thank you for your openness to it.

John-Michael said...

Melissa ... I have (from 1:26PM to 9:03PM) had your comment "in pocket" to dwell on. For I simply can not bring myself to accept a "don't" label for anyone's ability to express their core awareness or feeling.

You have revealed your ability to speak what stirs within you ... even in your conveying your frustrations with doing so. This ... what you have been courageous enough to say already ... is a demonstration of your ability to deliver your thought, your feeling.

All that is awaiting your willingness, is speaking more, and more. And your "voice", a rhythm comfortable to you, a taste of the joy of presenting your innermost Self, to yourself ... will encourage you to press on.

(now you see why it took me so long to post, and respond to, your comment. I want to honor, and give what you said the respect that it deserves.)

Amy Y said...

This was so beautiful but it made me sad :(

John-Michael said...

This is altogether appropriate and fitting, Amy Y. For, don't you see, living it has, many times, made me sad ... but I also see the beauty in the repeated experience.

So, Dear Lady, we are in harmonious agreement in the spirit of this little poem.

(and I am gratified that You permitted that spirit to speak to you.)

CrazyCath said...

I echo Misty Dawn's sentiments. You have touched, .... no, your words, so beautifully written, have touched a part of me so deep, they express what I cannot. Your insights and willingness to share them are a true gift. Cathartic and therapeutic.
I just popped by to let you know that the post re my son is up now.

MamaGeek said...

Wow, this was beautiful! And yet so heavy in my heart...

MamaGeek said...

So beautiful and sad. Wise words.

John-Michael said...

I enjoy ... I mean REALLY enjoy, my understanding of the necessity for all of the diverse textures and colours of "threads" being woven lovingly, skillfully, and eternally perfectly into the developing "tapestry" that is my life. For, don't you see, these varied threads of experiences ... many unpleasant ... some painful ... are being woven into this fabric by One in whom I have unflinching confidence and complete trust.

So, Dear mamageek, as I share glimpses of my unfolding tapestry with you ... it is to encourage and excite you in your awareness of the marvels of your own individual tapestry ... light, dark, rough, and refined threads alike.

John-Michael said...

I am thankful for you, Cath! (no, I can't include the "cr_ _ y" part). Your kindness and willingness to be vulnerable and open to Life's whispers, as you hear them in my thoughts, is a rich blessing to my spirit.

I am immensely honored and humbled by your posting!

CrazyCath said...

Just Cath is fine! That's my name - don't wear it out! ;0)

John-Michael said...

O-Tay! CATH, CATH, CATH, CATH. [am I too easily amused ... or what!?!]

CrazyCath said...

It's a while since I checked in on this one. Yes too easily amused. ;0) Sooooo my dad! Sooooo daft! That is exactly the sort of comment he would make and you made me laugh out loud! lol lol lol lol lol - as daft as the ol' man.

John-Michael said...

Fasten your seat belt, Cath ... I get WORSE with time [big Daddy grin]

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